09/12/09

Last night i have to sleep earlier.
And bii said dai sei to me T_T
I hate you bii T_T

Woke up and went out with my mum,
brother and grandma.
Early in the morning, my mum and brother
was pissed at each other.
I was the middle person again ofcourse.
A messenger =_=..

Went to Alor Gajar to pray.
Then reached back kl at 4pm+
Went to my mum's friend saloon for something.
The saloon where i regularly do my hair there.
The boss said my hair colour is shit, and
my hair is in a mess and he wants to help me redo it.
My mum said ok when she is free, me and her will
do our hair together~ Hehehe ;D

Reached home, as usual,
my brother went to gym.
Went jogging, went back and i quickly went
plugged in the stereo to my laptop. ;D
Continue dancing!! haha.
My ankle is going to completely heal soon.
After 2months :]
I can finally wear high heels back and ofcourse jog and
dance with no worries anymore.
Whee! I can see my abs line coming back.
Ngek ngek~ Gonna continue working on it.
Until i get the perfects abs i want. ;D

Was talking to Jia Lin on MSN.
HAHAHAHA!
Laughed like fucking mad ppl.
*And no babe, no OATS in my house!
If you are gonna bring oats its either you stay OUTSIDE
my house or THROW them away before you come in xD
Ahaha~ What happened to bringing good food in my house!
ISH!*
And the best thing one friend could even said to me was
'You should fast fast have sex'
HAHAHAHA!
Laughed like hell ~ What kind of friend would say that xD
A very good one.
And she even have to add 'ENJOY' at the end. xD

We made all the plans when she comes over to my house~
2nights 3days or 3night 4days.
1st day- shopping till 5pm, go sauna and jacuzzi .
1st day relax 1st~
2nd day- Jogging, dancing, swimming, sauna and jacuzzi.
*Babe can you handle it? ;3*
3rd day- Golf? exercise? or chill at home and bake stuffs ;3
*if she is staying for 4days*
Hurry up and come over already haha.
I need a new bikini!

Downloaded so many old songs :]
Like westlife songs, backstreet boys, aaron kwok, etc etc
Have to send them to my phone later~
So when i go jogging next time i can listen to it :]
Each songs, brings back one different memories.
Happiness, sadness, heartbroken-ness.
Especially Aaron Kwok- Wei Yi Se Cai.
That feeling i have when i heard it, cannot be described :]
Repeating it over and over again.

Too tired to write more.
My panda eyes =_= sighs.

Bii why do i love you so damn much? ;3

Because i love you.

*I want you here.*

Time passes so fast.
Just before you know it.
In a blink of an eye, its gonna be the end of 2009.
2010, a better year perhaps? :)
I hope so.
I have enough crap from this year.
Afterall i have promised myself i would better myself
once again. No matter how many times
i keep falling, i know i'll find a way to get back up myself. :)
And i am turning 18! ;D haha.

Today~ stayed at home.
After so many days of meetings and stuffs
i can finally get a rest! haha.
And there was no calls from anyone
*except someone called wrong number but i knew who
did it. Cant you get a life?*
And there was no text messages from anyone
*except from bii*
Peaceeeefuull dayyyyy :33
Me likey haha~

But i had a really bad headache in the afternoon.
Got really dizzy :( So i went to have a short nap at 4pm.
Telling myself to wake up at 5pm, but as usual i didnt.
When my brother and cousin were talking i told them to shut up xD

Woke up in the middle of napping,
only to find i was sleeping on the rabbit chest >_<
And i was thinking to myself,
'If only this was bii's chest that i am sleeping on' T_T

Woke up at 7pm. JiaLin pmed me on MSN.
Telling me maybe she have to postpone to coming
over my house due to some problems.
But instead of getting moody we got hyper.
Ahahaha. This is why i love her.

To babe lyn,
Babe, i read your blog.
Thanks for your wishes.
But you know its impossible for me to leave sadness.
Even when something becomes okay, another problem comes.
You saw how many times i've cried each week.
You saw how many times i fell babe.
But same goes to you love :)
Mwarks <3

These few days, i fell in love with dancing
all over again. In these 5yrs of dancing,
i have never been so addicted to it.
Right now me without dancing for a day,
its like a smoker without cigarette,
Incomplete.

1.08am, 08/12/09 right now.
In another 3days, its me and bii 3rd monthsary x]
*Bii~Gonna break your record soon~hiak hiak~ ;3*
Baby~ I never kao zai de na T_T
Today dun have~Yesterday also dun have~
Everyday also dun haveeeeeeeee~
Its you that i want~ forever and ever and ever~
Only you this baka~
Even though we are both struggling,
i believe much more better days are ahead of us.
So bii, take my hand, hold it tight and we'll
walk through the path that awaits us ahead.
I wont let you go bii.
You showed me what love is.
Thankful to have met you.
XiaoSer bii..I really thank you for everything.
I LOVE YOU. ❤
For the rest of my life, you are the only one i will call my man. ;3

After every guy that breaks up with me,
will one day eventually come to me and say,
'If only my gf now is half of you, i will be damn happy'
or some would ask
'Why am i such a good gf'
Because i believe, if you become a gf of someone
you will have to do the responsibilities of a gf.
Love only your man, be faithful, and trust in him.
Give more, expect less.

Whenever i am single, i get hundreds of calls
or text messages from guys.
But now, since i have a boyfriend.
I would distance myself from guys that tries to flirt with me.
I wouldnt reply any guys msgs unless its my close guy
friends, or even if they call i would just say i am busy.
I dont want to give them false hope that they have chance
of getting me, and i want to give my boyfriend
a sense of security so he dosent have to worry
that i'll leave him one day.

Instead each day, i just want to show
my boyfriend how much i love him each day
and how much i miss him each second.
I want to make him feel loved.
I will give him the best of me.
Because he means the world to me.
*So alien bii~ dont have to feel insecure,
i will always be your smelly bii >_<*

Seems like i wrote abit too much today~
So i'll just end it here.
Nights guys :]

Addicted to Mariah Carey- I want to know what love is.
Have a listen to it guys :]
*Changed songs on my teddy~ :]*

4.15am

4.15am , sitting on my bed.
Remembering the 1st time i met you.
And all the things you have once told me.
Remembering our 1st embrace, 1st kiss
and the 1st 'i love you' that you said to me.
My heart skipped a beat.

Everything was so dreamy back then.
Endless conversations, text messages,
and how you would call when i am sleeping
in the middle of the night and how wide awake
i become just seeing your name
on my handphone caller id.
That voice. It seems long forgotten, but somewhere
in my mind its still echo-ing there.

All the plans we have made so we could
see each other as much as possible.
Its didnt turn out like how i expected it to be.
But telling myself, its alright i can wait.

Why is it whenever you are around,
i am lost for words, or sometimes i am
having a time to find the right words to say >_<
I get so nervous around you.

The more i fall in love with you,
the fear of losing you deepens.
The thoughts of losing you, only bring tears to my eyes.
Asking myself how did i fall head over heels for you.
And asking myself how did things changed so much.

I missed how things used to be.
If only things didnt changed, and it was the same
like how it used to be.
Wouldnt it be wonderful.

But then again, it dosent matter.
Because no matter what you do,
it dosent change the fact that i love you.
And it dosent change the fact that its you
whom i am gonna call my husband.

Honestly, My life would suck without you x3

06/12/09

Once again, didnt sleep last night :|
All i did was hug the rabbit with tears
in my eyes, staring in the darkness
and flashback started.
But whatever. I am alright now :]
So tired right now >_<

Went to Sunway with my mum and brother.
My mum had a reunion thingy with her old
school mates and teachers.
Great to see her enjoying herself :]
But she called me sei lui bao just because i am
taller than her T_T ngek~
*Mummmyyy i know you jealous xD*

My brother did not want to join my mum
with her friends, because he said a bunch of old people =_=
So after greeting my mum's friend, my brother and
i left to eat ~
Went to asian avenue~ My brother took
me to this place that serves taiwan style food.
It was really nice but damn spicy >_<
My tongue was numb with the spicy-ness and ice xD
But i only ate abit then i gave the rest to my brother.
I only ate because i promised someone i would.

After eating, no where to go.
Walking around until my brother decided to go
to the arcade and play initial D since he never touched
it for 2years.
The initial D machines were empty, with no one around.
My brother was playing, still no one around.
But as soon as i stood next to my brother
guys started flocking around the place. haha.
One dude kept staring at me, and he tried to impress
me but he tried too hard. I wasnt interested.
But since i was bored, i thought i might have a little
fun. I gave every guy looking at me a very
flirtatious smile and eyes. The outcome was so expected.
Trying to get close to me, pretending to accidentally bump me.
Haha. Guys, they are all the same. No fun at all.
Felt like a bitch xD

After we left, the crowd was gone~
Was just doing a little window shopping until i saw someone.
Shocked me xD
He used to work at sg wang, the shop next to anatomi.
But now he is working in sunway anatomi.
No wonder i dont see him there anymore.
When his eyes caught mine, he was like O.O expression.
When my brother went to the washroom he came
out and talked to me.

He said i have changed so much in just few months.
And he said i have lost alot of weight. Have i? >_<
And asked if everything was okay because i didnt look so well.
When he asked where is your boyfriend *meaning my ex*
I said we broke up almost 4mths ago.
He was like omfg are you fucking serious?
Why is everyone giving me this reaction when i tell them i broke up
with my ex =_= Its not a big deal.
I mean it was only a 2yrs relationship thingy.
When i told him i already got a new boyfriend,
he said 'Girls with looks like yours, and since its you, its expected'
*Haha you made it sound like as if i change boyfriends
every year you ass.*

After a short conversation, i left with my brother.
Wandering around with no where to go.
But whenever my brother saw me down,
he would find ways to make me laugh.
*thanks kor :]*

We went to the bowling place and watched
people played.
The professionals were crazy haha.
Me and my brother kept saying
'wtf, mahai, cb, kns'
haha.

After god-knows-how-many-hours,
my mum finally called and we could go home~

Sighs~
Went back home, plugged in my brother's stereo
to my laptop. And tune it up real loud.
Effing love the bass x]
I dont need to go clubbing just to dance to loud music,
i have my personal 'mini studio' aka my room xD
A effing awesome bass stereo and mirrors.
Perfect for dance practices :]
After practicing, went and take a longggggg shower ;3

Lian is leaving tomorrow :(
I will miss you alot babe :(
But no worries, we will be seeing each other sometime
soon :] have a safe flight tomorrow~

Its 3.24am right now.
Maybe i should get some rest.
Although i know its just gonna be another sleepless night.

It was my decision, so therefore there is no regret :]
Hugging the rabbit asking what should i do :(

Without you by my side, my world turned black and white.
I will always be the girl who will always be truly, madly,
deeply in love with you.
Tell me, how am i going to survive without you? :]

...

Tears stop falling please.
I thought i told you not to fall. :|
Heart stop hurting please.
I thought i told you i wont give a damn anymore.

But then again, the hurt.
the wound.the cut.the scar.
no matter how long it takes it will never heals.
never.in my whole life.

I am smiling when i wanna cry.
Crying when i wanna die.
Keeping quiet when i should say something.
Holding on when i should be letting go.
Running away when i am suppose to solve it.
Walking towards a meaningless path.
Holding on to a loose thread thats gonna break soon.

Promises.What are they?
Just another word to make someone happy?
Or just another word to hurt someone? :]
Meant to be kept or meant to be broken?
Meant to show your love or meant to make someone
not trust you anymore?
Promises-breaker. The worst ppl alive?
Maybe? Yes? No?
No one knows.

Drowning in my own tears.
Do you care? or rather. Do you even know i am crying?
Do you know i am hurt? :]]
Disappointed? Yes i am.
But then again.
I am just going to pretend that i dont know
anything and just move on.
I dont need any meaningless arguement.

Telling myself.
To hell with it.
Not worth it.
Promise. Its full of shit.

03/12/09

Yesterday was forced to sleep early

by my bii T_T
But atleast my panda eyes is gone x3

Today just went out with my brother
to do some stuffs.
It was so freaking jam everywhere in kl!
And the weather was so freaking hot.
I love the sky and the clouds today.


My brother frustrated with the traffic jams,
instead of going to Bangsar to meet my mum
we went home.
On the way home we stopped by opposite
Ampang Hilir Park rojak store x3
After finish eating my brother brought me to a
place to see monkeys!
It was just right behind KDE club where i used to go
swimming when i was a kid.
Omgoshhhhhh >_<>
My brother said my relatives :p
Cause i am born in the year of monkey
according to chinese zodiac =]

*The baby is so small x3*

*So comfy =_=*


*MONKEY! What are you doing >_<*

HAHA! On the way going home in the jam,
my brother friend Hock Seng called.
And said he was just next to us.
HAHA couldnt stop laughing when we saw each other.
But it was great seeing him again after
god-knows-how-many-years. Welcome back to Msia HS :D

After i reached home. One of my lou po texted me.
Saying she is going to get married next year
and she having a baby right now.
Gosh i am soooooooo happy for her.
I couldnt stop smiling after she told me the news.
It really brightens up my day so much =]
Lou po lou po~ Congrats!
I am really soo happy for youuuuu >_<
Must take care of the baby and yourself~
Mwarks mwarks~
Remember to find me when you come kl~

Walked out to the balcony in the late afternoon.
The sunset was beautiful =]

*=]*

Then my dog came and disturb me when i was
thinking of something :|

*Hugo zai~Kiss kiss~*

*Baby, My world turned black and white
without you by my side.*

During dinner time Bii texted me saying
'Baby, i love you' >_<
I couldnt stop smiling and read it over and
over again x3
Everytime he says these 3 words to me
i would just smile like an idiot,
my heart would just start beating fast and
when i think of him i still get butterflies in
my tummy x3

Night guys.

Every night i would lie down on my bed
thinking back of the times we had.
and i would fall asleep with a smile
on my face because i know i'll see you in my dreams.

2/12/09

Fucking sleepy!

Last night didnt slept much :(
But was playing xdo with bii~ ^^
Until 5am+ stupid bii afk and went for a smoke =_=
*smoke some more na bii! Smoke sei you!*
But i fell asleep while waiting for him to come back.

But thinking back to the 1st time when i saw him smoke.
Even though its me
who wants him to quit smoking, I have to admit.
I find him smoking pretty sexy xDD
Hahahaha~
Yes i am going out of my mind.
Somebody pinch me x3

Anyways, today around 10am+ when i just woke up
Lian pmed me on MSN asking me if i wanted
to go out to Sg Wang today.
I called her to confirm with her if she really wanted
to go out or not. So yea it was on.
But i was so freaking sleepy >_<
Lian knew i just woke up by hearing my voice haha.
And when i called my mum to ask her if could go out
or not i was like 'muuuuuuuummmmyyyyyyyy' xD

Got myself ready.
Simple dressing, was too lazy to search for clothes >_<
My hair and everything was in a mess.
But oh well dosent matter x]

Reached Sg Wang at 1pm+.
Lian reached at 2pm.
We didnt do much but just took sticker pictures.

*She was cutting the pictures =]*

Lian cut her hair short!
My first time seeing it lols.
Kinda hard to believe she actually cut it short >_<
For me, i will never cut my hair short.
I rather die than cut it short >_<

Walked over to Timesquare just to get
the jacket i adore ❤
But only to find out that the black one
is out of stock T_T
So i have no choice but to just settle with the white one.
I knew i should have bought it earlier T_T
And i bought a new bracelet x3

Around 4pm my mum came and pick me up.
Yup, was out only for 2hrs =_=
Because my mum have dinner at night and
my brother wants to go out yamcha
with his friends a night so if i didnt go back at the time
no one will pick me up T_T

My mum went to Petaling street to buy something
and buy dinner for my grandpa and grandma.
She got off the car and i was waiting for her inside the car.
A japanese dude was totally staring at me
from outside. xD hahaha.
I have to admit he was pretty good looking :p
But i have no interest in looking back at him~
But before he left, he walked near the car,
looked directly into my eyes and smiled.
I just smiled back =]

Went home~
Immediately ran to my room and threw myself
on my bed. Wheee~
My heaven, my santuary. ❤
Didnt want to get up at all~ But i have to since
i have alot of stuffs to do :(

Needs to get a haircut soon =_=
The layers of my hair is too long :|
And maybe recolour my hair.
But these will only be done when i earn some money =]

Once again those feelings came back.
My instincts tells me something is wrong.
I have a bad feeling about it again.
Honestly is all i am asking for.
Dont fuck with me.
You have no fucking idea what i am capable of doing.

Working my way to get my abs back T_T
It takes months to get it and just a
week to lose it :(
Rawr ;D