brother's graduation.

I know its almost 1month since i've last updated.
You may have thought i might be dead but
bad news for you i am not :D

But seriously, i am so sick of my life routine.
Morning to afternoon college, afternoon out with mum
till evening and when i am home its house chores then
sleep. My bed time used to be 4-5am then it went to
1-2am now its 11pm -_-. The big changes how college can
do for you. But honestly i am damn sick of doing
house chores, its tiring after a long day and the worst
is despite the fact that i do everything at home,
mum still calls me lazy and the worst thing she
said to everyone was ' dont do anything at home,
when you need something done just tell mabel and she'll
do it when she is home from college'.

I was like FML. literally fml.

Anyways, 16th January was my brother's graduation day.
It was held in Segi university in kota damansara.
Rushed like mad in the morning, i had to deal
with house chores then prepare myself.

Nearby the university there was ppl selling
flowers , mum asked if we should buy one for my
brother, i knew he would hate it or feel embarrass so i said
YESSSSS. :D

Decided to buy him a mini bear but turns out he wanted
a doreamon one . So FAILED !
So we reached and yup we were late.

Speeches, speeches and speeches.
I looked around the room and i can see everyone
was being bored -_-.

And i just knew that it wasnt just subang segi that was
graduating but also KL and kota damansara segi as well.
BUTTTT, when they announced segi subang jaya all
the graduates cheered damn loud !
Meaning, subang jaya ppl knows how to have fun :D
And i had a feeling that when its my turn to graduate
with my friends its gonna be the same.

I find it pretty stupid that they dont allow picture
taking. Then how can ppl capture their moments on stage?
Got ppl taking pic la but you need to PAY for it.
so i couldnt capture my brother on stage.
If only i have that huge ass long lens that can zoom to the moon.

So finally everything was done and lunch was served
outside.

Mummy, brother and me. Why am i so short?

I dont really remembered what happened but i think
we went home after that and my brother and i
enjoyed watching tv and munching on leftover turkey.

Dear mummy and brother.
In my future graduation i want a bigger flower xD
if you girls are wondering why my eyes look diff is because
i stopped using fake eyelashes.
Will only use it when i have photoshooting sessions.
or maybe outing which i feel photo taking will take place.

You know when i was in the hall listening to those
speeches given, i felt a feeling of happiness for
my brother but yet a feeling of sadness.
Because he will be leaving to australia to
further his studies. I know he is mad excited to leave but
i know i will sobs like mad when he does.

He have always been around me for 19years,
and i know one day obviously we will leave and
be apart from each other to have a life of our own.
Maybe just maybe, i am afraid i might feel lonelier than
before when he isnt here anymore, i might
not be able to have someone i can laugh with and spill
anything and everything to. We dont treat each other like
bro or sis but instead like a friend that can never be replaced.

During the graduation i also felt another feeling.
I cant wait for my graduation, thats what i felt.
But the same feeling occurs when i thought of that,
the distances between friends and family if i were to leave
after my diploma. Well yea, we are still able to talk to each
other online or thru the phone but the gap will be wider.
or worst, totally forgetting one another.

Yes graduation seems likes the most awesome-st time
of your life but also a shittiest one perhaps.
But somehow at this very moment, i wish it was i who is
leaving. I m tired of memories here. Arguments everyday.
Stress. Pressure. Tiredness. Its getting into me.
To a point where i almost wanted to commit suicide. again.
And literally gone mad for few hrs.
I swear its real, i was just lucky enough i was able to wake
myself up. If not the only time u'll see me is when u look up the sky.

And the only word ppl can use to describe me is PALE.
fml.

Actually not only my brother graduated.
I also did.

Graduated from APP only -_-.

Currently in a crappy mood again.
soooo, i've updated for now and god knows when
i'll be free to update again.
Take care my sweethearts :)