The reasons.

*I love this pic of bii so much~my phone new
wallpaper :p~ My property~ Dont touch him ;D*

Every where i go, those who knew me and haven't
seen me in a long time.
Will say to me 'Woi, you lost so much weight'
Some havent seen me in just few weeks said
i've lost tremendous weight within November and December.
Have i really lost that much?

I dont try, neither am i dieting at the moment.
Maybe its the effect of depression?
I don't eat alot lately.
I don't sleep alot lately.
And yes i admit i have been very moody these few days.
I am tired of fake smiling.
I am tired of those tears falling before i go to bed
or as soon as i wake up and tell myself
'Its another day to fake a smile'.

But since i am still living here.
I have no choice but to say yes to everything.
And i dont even demand for anything.

This year xmas i'll be at home.
I cant even be with the one i love on that day.
This is why i am not looking forward to xmas.
Neither am i looking forward to new year eve.
Cause i know i'll be home on that day as well.
*Haha i know you guys are shocked but deal with it >_<
you wont be seeing me around this year. But to those
going out enjoy yourself :]*

Today i drew my own tattoo design.
I used to 2hrs haha.
A friend of mine was webcamming with me.
She watched me drew for 2hrs with frustration x]
I drew, erase, drew, erase all the way until i've finally come out
with something.
But that effort was kinda wasted because bii made
me change my mind. So i am brain storming
for another design =_=v

Everyone is asking why am i getting a tattoo.
And why must it be a butterfly.
And why must i have my bf name too.

I've always wanted a tattoo long time ago.
But finally decided to get one.
The reason why it must be a butterfly because it resembles
a special meaning for me.
A change in life. A new beginning.
Luck and freedom.
With the person that i will spend the rest of my life with.
That is why i want his name there.

I know next year will be a great change for me.
That is why i wan a butterfly to remind me what is my
purpose of living.

For me, tattoo isnt just some sort of thing to show off
around thinking you are 'cool' are whatever.
Its something that can mean alot to someone.
This is why i wan meaningful tattoos.
Because i know, that's the meaning i'll live with for the
rest of my life.
And i know i wont regret it because regret dosent exist
in my dictionary :] It never have.
This is how even whenever i did something so wrong, i can still move on.
And i would just look back, laugh and say
'To hell with it' :]

Anyways, i've answered the questions i have to answer~
Getting it done by next week :]
Anyone wanna see me suffer at the tattoo shop? xD
Bii went to bed early,
I just ate medicine. I might as well go to bed early :]
Nights guys <3

I just want affection :|
Infact i just want to see you badly.
Isnt it incredible how we are falling so deeply in love
when we can barely see each other? :]

Could it be because you really are the one
I'm waiting for all along?
The one that i'll spend my whole life with.
But i wonder, Do you feel the same way as me? :]