octoberrrrrrrrr.

Beginning of October wasn't really great for me.

It was one hell of a nightmare.

Yea, sure i was psyche that i got a part time job

but you know what? i quit before i even started on that

very day. It was literally omgseriouslywtfbbq thing.

Too lazy to explain but yea, not making things clear to people

then blame it on that person is seriously woah,

no responsibility in your job.

Then i had probs with my mum as usual, but i guess we're

cool now. Oh and also i'm no longer moving out but i'm getting

a car so i guess it should be good news right ?

Well, it is a good news providing mum don't start using me to run her

errands afterall she's the one who said

'i'll get you a car and you can go anywhere you want.'

I don't know why, but she is just so against me moving out.

Well everyone is. Just cause i'm a girl. Really ?

I sometimes wish i have a penis instead. But it would mean

i would be bro with the one person i love instead of calling him mine.

Hmm let's see what else, well i may or may not have put on

a few pounds but holidays :( can't blame me.

i may or may not want a mermaid tattoo. they are gorgeous when

drawn right k. Especially those long hair and tail.

But then again i have to get mum's approval before i can start thinking

of getting my 3rd tattoo. sighs.

Well on the bright side, classes are starting soon !

No more wasting time either staying at home or following mum

out just to do her stuffs. And i can be with friends and this new

semester will be very different. Not telling why yet ;)

But then again waiting for my result is nerve wreaking because i

didnt do well last sem. sick on an exam day and having marketing is so not fun.

I think i'm getting C for marketing :(

But whatever it is, just dont fail me and i'm happy.

On the BRIGHTER side, my little baby hammy jr leg is recovering alot !

Well yea, for those who don't know, my poor little baby was running in

his hamster ball and he dropped downstairs when i wasnt looking.

The ball cracked open and it cut him, and his leg was badly injured to the

point he have to drag his feet and he squeals when he tried to walk.

I swear i fucking panic and cried because i felt its my fault because i was

too busy cleaning his cage to keep an eye on him.

I called my big hammy abel lee zhiziang on the spot.

Thank god he was there telling me what to do and calming me down

if not i would have gone mad.

For couple of days and week he was just inside his little box and

not coming out and not moving alot.

So can you imagine how fat he have grown?

Pictures says it all.

BUT today when i went to clean his cage, i looked at the top house it

was dirty. i found it weird why its dirty when he is not able to climb and

i also took away the tube that he use to climb up to the top house.

So nvm, i just went on with cleaning his cage until that little fella,

CLIMBED to the top house by climbing the CAGE BARS !

I was like 'omgomg hammy hammy no no no no no!'

I freaked out! But he was using his injured leg so well on the bars.

When he dropped himself into the house he turned around and looked at me

with that proud hamster face.

Wrong hamster i chose, seriously.

Resembles exactly the same as the big hammy.

The most amazing thing is, usually it takes hamsters 2-4weeks to recover

from a injured leg but he is recovering fast. I'm just so glad he did

not bite his leg off.

 i'm really happy inside although he freaked me out that i just

feel like smacking his head. I carried him up and gave him a little kiss.

He better know how much i love him.

Today i just found out about this application called Line.

It is something like whatsapp but except it have cuter emoticons.

See see. DAMN CUTE !

 Alot more cuter ones! I only use this when i want to spam

cute emoticons :p

And there is this scan thingy for it. It's like if you wanna add someone

you have to take ur phone and scan the code.

I'm a t-shirt girl. Teehee.

Countdown 4 days to go till classes resumes.

Argh hurry the eff up already, i'm that bored. nah.

Actually i'm gonna do something on the 1st day of class to a particular someone.

Who is that someone ? What am i gonna do ?

Just wait lah, teeheeeeeeeee.

PS : i'm now a fan of DASH BERLIN. teehee.

its the end.

11th September 2009, we started.

We always wondered will we last till we grow old,

or will we give up halfway and let it die.

I guess, fate chose the latter for us.

We ended.

Its been 2 years. And i thought we would only last 2months.

Although we fought hard to come this far, i guess we didn't fight enough.

We ended because i'm moving out to a place behind

college for my convenience, i'm getting a job to cover my

own expenses which means i will not have time for anything.

But then again i thought in a relationship, its not about how many

days we see each but how many times we look for each other everyday.

You kept pressuring me to move in with you, but i cant because

i have my own reasons and i wont lie to anyone.

To keep up with a lie, is the hardest thing to do.

But you wouldn't take time to sit and understand it, you don't

want to understand everything i'm going thru.

And your reason was because 'you worry too much about me'.

I thought in a relationship, when your other half is growing and learning

to be a better and independent person we should support them,

let them fall and be there to bring them up when needed.

I thought in a relationship its all about TRUST instead of saying things

and made it sound like your other half will fall in love with any opposite

sex friends they meet.

I thought in a relationship distances doesnt matter, its all about communication.

It was hard for me, to change the fb relationship status. why?

because it have been there for 2years.

2 effing year, but you changed it.

11th September 2009 huh ? =)

And there you have it. Single but unavailable.

People may think 'damn mab, you wasted two years of ur life with him'.

I didnt. Infact i'm lucky to have met you.

You taught me how to change myself, that made me who i am today.

You taught me relationships isnt just about going out and

have fun then going home to sleep, i learnt how to plan for future.

It was you who said to go college together, sure plan have failed.

But just because we ended doesnt mean i'm ending college.

I found what i want to do, and you said no because i'll be travelling

everywhere without you, but i'm sorry i guess i love my dreams more than

anything else and i'm going to achieve it.

Everyone may say 'its alright mabs, he doesnt give you anything at all, look at

all the other girl's bf giving them diamonds and endless stuffs.'

I rather a guy give me diamonds because he means it and not just

because he wants me to be in bed with him.

I rather a guy give me stuffs when they feel like that want to not because

i ask for it. But you did give me few things that i asked for and it not cheap

at all but you saved up just to get it for me. Thank you, i mean it.

Maybe sometimes going out with you is frustrating, the only thing you do

is take my phone and play with it then leave me all alone.

When i talk to you, its either you dont hear me because your too busy

looking elsewhere or you wont answer me.

You are afraid to be crazy with me, because you are afraid of how

people view you. does it matter so much to you on how people look at you?

Sure we talked about our future wedding, future home, kids, lifestyle, etc.

But i guess it just fades when you least expects it. 

Do you even still remember everything we've planned?

Eventually things changed, conversations got shorter, you got busier,

i waited, then i got busier and love died because of no trust.

When two person thinks they are right, there is no more working out to it.

Thank you for once having loved me.

Thank you for your care.

Thank you for teaching me new things.

& thank you for everything you've done.

I'm not one of those immature girls that says

'hey you know what? he suck balls'

I hate ugly break ups and i hate how break ups turns two

closest people into two biggest strangers.

I guess we are just gonna be one of them.

But seems like you're doing well, you are already meeting girls

like nobody business. I'm relieved.

I do hope you'll find someone better than me.

And girls if you are together with him, please love him right.

He'll show you what a real boyf is, mark my words.

Just try to keep up with his stubbornness, selfish when it comes to male friends,

no freedom to do what you want and you'll do just fine with him.

Oh and also his lack of communication because he'll always be too busy in

cc with his friends and wont even tell you and leave you worrying if he is alright.

Nixon Ng, take care of yourself and watch me grow from afar.

You always doubt i can be strong and independent.

All you wanna do is just give me money and make me stay home.

Sorry, i'm not a woman who can be bought, i've seen how women

fell because they counted everything on their men.

Sorry, the only thing i'll count on is myself.

I'll show you i'm not as weak as you think and when you see me on TV,

please be proud of me =)

My tears have dried up, i still did not regret loving you with everything

i've got because you were exactly what i wanted and needed.

I know i'll find someone who truly appreciates and support what

i want to do instead of telling me 'you cant do it cause your weak.'

Sure my blog may be all about you, but this will be the last.

Lets not look back and cry, look forward and hope for the better.

Do well bii, when we do bump into each other somewhere down the road,

lets be those that can have a normal conversation to keep up with how

we are doing instead of making a u-turn and avoiding what made us happy

back in those days.

Take care.