its the end.

11th September 2009, we started.

We always wondered will we last till we grow old,

or will we give up halfway and let it die.

I guess, fate chose the latter for us.

We ended.

Its been 2 years. And i thought we would only last 2months.

Although we fought hard to come this far, i guess we didn't fight enough.

We ended because i'm moving out to a place behind

college for my convenience, i'm getting a job to cover my

own expenses which means i will not have time for anything.

But then again i thought in a relationship, its not about how many

days we see each but how many times we look for each other everyday.

You kept pressuring me to move in with you, but i cant because

i have my own reasons and i wont lie to anyone.

To keep up with a lie, is the hardest thing to do.

But you wouldn't take time to sit and understand it, you don't

want to understand everything i'm going thru.

And your reason was because 'you worry too much about me'.

I thought in a relationship, when your other half is growing and learning

to be a better and independent person we should support them,

let them fall and be there to bring them up when needed.

I thought in a relationship its all about TRUST instead of saying things

and made it sound like your other half will fall in love with any opposite

sex friends they meet.

I thought in a relationship distances doesnt matter, its all about communication.

It was hard for me, to change the fb relationship status. why?

because it have been there for 2years.

2 effing year, but you changed it.

11th September 2009 huh ? =)

And there you have it. Single but unavailable.

People may think 'damn mab, you wasted two years of ur life with him'.

I didnt. Infact i'm lucky to have met you.

You taught me how to change myself, that made me who i am today.

You taught me relationships isnt just about going out and

have fun then going home to sleep, i learnt how to plan for future.

It was you who said to go college together, sure plan have failed.

But just because we ended doesnt mean i'm ending college.

I found what i want to do, and you said no because i'll be travelling

everywhere without you, but i'm sorry i guess i love my dreams more than

anything else and i'm going to achieve it.

Everyone may say 'its alright mabs, he doesnt give you anything at all, look at

all the other girl's bf giving them diamonds and endless stuffs.'

I rather a guy give me diamonds because he means it and not just

because he wants me to be in bed with him.

I rather a guy give me stuffs when they feel like that want to not because

i ask for it. But you did give me few things that i asked for and it not cheap

at all but you saved up just to get it for me. Thank you, i mean it.

Maybe sometimes going out with you is frustrating, the only thing you do

is take my phone and play with it then leave me all alone.

When i talk to you, its either you dont hear me because your too busy

looking elsewhere or you wont answer me.

You are afraid to be crazy with me, because you are afraid of how

people view you. does it matter so much to you on how people look at you?

Sure we talked about our future wedding, future home, kids, lifestyle, etc.

But i guess it just fades when you least expects it. 

Do you even still remember everything we've planned?

Eventually things changed, conversations got shorter, you got busier,

i waited, then i got busier and love died because of no trust.

When two person thinks they are right, there is no more working out to it.

Thank you for once having loved me.

Thank you for your care.

Thank you for teaching me new things.

& thank you for everything you've done.

I'm not one of those immature girls that says

'hey you know what? he suck balls'

I hate ugly break ups and i hate how break ups turns two

closest people into two biggest strangers.

I guess we are just gonna be one of them.

But seems like you're doing well, you are already meeting girls

like nobody business. I'm relieved.

I do hope you'll find someone better than me.

And girls if you are together with him, please love him right.

He'll show you what a real boyf is, mark my words.

Just try to keep up with his stubbornness, selfish when it comes to male friends,

no freedom to do what you want and you'll do just fine with him.

Oh and also his lack of communication because he'll always be too busy in

cc with his friends and wont even tell you and leave you worrying if he is alright.

Nixon Ng, take care of yourself and watch me grow from afar.

You always doubt i can be strong and independent.

All you wanna do is just give me money and make me stay home.

Sorry, i'm not a woman who can be bought, i've seen how women

fell because they counted everything on their men.

Sorry, the only thing i'll count on is myself.

I'll show you i'm not as weak as you think and when you see me on TV,

please be proud of me =)

My tears have dried up, i still did not regret loving you with everything

i've got because you were exactly what i wanted and needed.

I know i'll find someone who truly appreciates and support what

i want to do instead of telling me 'you cant do it cause your weak.'

Sure my blog may be all about you, but this will be the last.

Lets not look back and cry, look forward and hope for the better.

Do well bii, when we do bump into each other somewhere down the road,

lets be those that can have a normal conversation to keep up with how

we are doing instead of making a u-turn and avoiding what made us happy

back in those days.

Take care.