Lost but strong. its really worth it.

I swear to myself that i was gonna update
my blog yesterday but i guess i was
just too stuck with GLEE !!
I freaking love that show maybe its because
its a musical show and i m a person that mad
love music. Who doesnt?
And the way they sing, dance, accept each other,
is really too touching. I nearly cried.
Must watch must watch :p

Anyways.
I looked at myself in the mirror, the only
thing i looked at was my eyes and my hair.
I asked myself, what made me stopped camwhoring
as much as i did before?
My answer : My hair is flat, out of place making
me look like a douche in pictures.
People call me fat even though i have lost
few kg from the last time they saw me.

The only thing i had to say was
'its either i lift up my shirt in public to show
you whats beneath my shirt, or you touch me or
you visit my blog' when they visited my blog they said
sorry. They had no idea. Why? because i enjoy
wearing big shirts when i am out.
I dont enjoy tight fitting clothes although they are
super sexy. And big boned can really be
a pain in the ass, even if u r thin to the
point u only have skin and no fats ppl mistaken u for fat.
Yea, i have friends like that, but guess what?
Majority of guys prefer our types.
Be proud girls :)

And you know what i've almost lost?
SELF CONFIDENT.
I almost thought that was the end to my
vain-ness. *oh yes, i am very proud to be vain* xD
Like as if it was end of the world.
But came to realized soon enough, i was
being gay stupid.

I am not photogenic, but that didnt stop me
from camwhoring. As much as ppl keep
saying i am pretty, beautiful, i dont
look msia, i look taiwanese, i keep denying
but infact i am flattered.
Thank you very much :D

I hate my fringe, its not long neither short.
Always out of place or poking my eyes.
I dont look good with middle parting yet
because its not long enough, side parting pokes
my eyes but didnt stop me from trying to love it.

I have flat hair right now, layers are
mad long that is too heavy to be pooffyyy.
I just remembered i am keeping all my hair
long because i wanna keep a style
*surprise u all when the time comes :p*

Although i have chubby face, doesnt mean
i only have to do high angle shots.
I am proud to be chubby. why?
chubby is mad cute.

*Sorry pictures are too bright, forgot adjust
camera setting ish*

I almost wanted to cut my hair short.
*see my dog trying to squeeze in?
yea, she just wanted me to hug her that
moment*

So you see? Just because i lost one small thing,
i treated it like its the end of the world.
So today topic LOST.

When people lose something very minor,
example : errm favourite shirt or doll or whatever.
Something that is so small, but we tend to make
it like we lost part of our life and whine and cry
the whole freaking day.
1st of all, do you know by whining and crying and bad mood-ing
the whole day, how much time u have wasted of ur
one and only life making it miserable?
Our mood is in our hands to change it. Happy, mad, sad,
all these emotions YOU CHOOSE it YOURSELF !
No one can make you that way except yourself.
And it only take a sec or a min to CHANGE it.

2nd, its just an item that can be bought again.
i know i know you guys are gonna say
'limited edition' or 'precious memory' or 'cannot
be bought anywhere anymore'.
Limited edition so what? 2nd hand can be found.
precious memory? really? memory is all in ur head.
cannot be bought? if the old one doesnt leave, how
do you expect a new one to come in?

I understand its normal to be upset when you lost
something that is important to you
but not to anyone. Something that
is given to you by a friend, or a person who isnt
here anymore, or something you earned hard
just to get it. But think again.

If its something you bought by yourself,
as long as you are still alive,
you have hands and legs to go and earn it again.
If its given by a friend, eventually they will
give you new gifts whether you expect
it or not.
If its given by someone who isnt here anymore,
they wont blame you but instead be happy
as long as you have them in ur head memory.

But have you ever thought of those
whom lost someone so damn precious to them?
Those are forever lost and cannot be bought back.
Not even a billion could bring them back.

When we have something important to us,
sitting right next to us, we tend to love them
for awhile then neglect them for our whole life.
Or maybe when we are bored we bring them
out again and make use of it again.
Whether its an item or a living soul, when its
gone we regret it our whole life.

Chances and opportunity lost my dears,
are different.
When one door shuts, two doors opens.
Heard of that? :)
You may have missed that chance that may
seem like a big shot to you, whether u tried it
or forgotten. But sooner or later you'll realize
it just opened another few doors of opportunity
for you as you have that experience and it wont stop
you from trying.

You may think its easy for me to say all this because
i havent lost enough. No, i've lost more than enough.
I could have been a model but i missed
that chance. I could have been a air stewardess but
i threw away that chance. I've lost a dear
friend and i can only talk to her thru prayers.
I've lost friends because of betrayal, lost
photos that cant be replaced because some moments
just happen once. I've lost alot more than mentioned here.
I believe some of you guys have as well.

Betrayal lost are even more of something
you really dont have to care.
If they are your true friend the wont care
what others says and the only one they
want to hear it from is your mouth.
And no matter what colour, size, race or
how annoying or stupid you are true friends
accept you just the way you are and they wont bother
changing a thing about you if they enjoy your company.
If you lost friends that you thought were your very best,
dont give a eff about them. Not worth it.
Dont bother taking revenge because karma will do it for you.

I experienced this.
Painful because i thought they were my everything
i could depend on. And i know them
almost my whole life.
Neglected me. Why?
Because i am different from them.
In what way? They tend to call me 'lala' when
they dont even know what that term stands for.

Just because girls wear contact lenses,
use fake eyelashes, and make up,
with accessories and in trend clothes we are called lala?

Lala is those with super gold hair,
acts like they are the spotlight even when
they are not, wear sluts clothes,
in every sentence there must be a minimum of 5
swear words, smokes, club almost every night of
the week, drug, drink, and even dumber than
kindergarden kids, thinks they have the worst life
ever, emo, slit their wrist with their so called
i am gonna die attempt so ppl will be like
'no pls dun die we need u' and be an attention grabber.

Yea i think i pretty much made the term lala clear.

But aside from all these experience
you know what i gained?
My strong self that keep me dancing
in the storm. It doesnt matter how cold the rain is,
how strong the wind is blowing and how ferocious
the thunder is booming. It only takes you
a little more courage, a little more strength, a
little more confident and believe in yourself.
You too can dance in the storm just like me.

So will you guys, think out of your box,
realize how lucky you are than alot of people,
pick yourself up and dance with me? :)

I hope you guys learn something more from
this post :)
I may not be some big shot celebrity blogger
*although i had dream to be one*
but yet you guys keep visiting and as much as i love
helping people, this is pretty much the service of
help blog offers :/
Sorry if it isnt much but yea, CHEERS ! :D

Thinking of piercing my ears on the bottom
again but if i do it will be my 9th attempt.
Because whenever i take off the earring,
the hole closes almost instantly and its
painful to poke through. Wow, i must be a god !
Instant recovery ahahaha!
Oh well lalala~ ❤❤

I think i should have a signing off slogan.
Nahhh, i am being gay.
No wait, you guys wanna help me think of one? :p

The two legend movies.

Yesterday my boyf and i went out.
When he picked me up, it was raining heavily.
Got in the car and his brother was infront xD
At 1st i couldnt recognized his brother, his
hair changed xD

Sent his brother back to Subang.
Then when we reached, his brother got
off the car, i sat infront.
I saw my bii wearing jeans , i thought he was
wearing shorts -_-
I was wearing t-shirt and shorts -_-
Lucky no slippers. I thought we werent going out T_T.

So we went to Summit and decided to
watch 2 movies!!
Straight 2 movies with no break in between.

1st movie.
Legend of the fist : The return of Chen Zhen.

Donnie yen baby ! Donnie yen !
He ran so fast 'like a bullet' xD
And soooooo man !
I think his muscle doubled up @_@

See see !
SMEXY !! when he took off his clothes
i was like FUIYOH !
SYOK ! My boyf say he wanna be MAN
like donnie yen i was like smilessss! ;p
I cant stop being OMFG that body is hot for an
old man !

The movie is nice, but too much blood for me.
I did close my eyes few times but i dont
think my boyf knows it :p

After the movie 6.22pm. The next movie was
6.15pm. We went in to the next cinema
lucky not yet start~
Few mins toilet break.
*i know i did say without break but few mins
isnt much break for our eyes is it? :p*

The legend of the guardians : The owls
of ga'hoole.

The owls are seriously MAD CUTE!
When the movie started i was like
awwwwwww ❤

especially this youngest owl.
Eglantine ❤
she is like this little furball that makes you wanna
hold in your hands and not
squeeze but u know just..
well yea, squeeze it but LIGHTLY xD

When her beak *the leaf* fell off xD
Was sooooo cute !!

The two legends movie i've watched is
nice. Its up to you guys whether
to watch it or not but yea,
owls is super cute and its quite funny.

After the movie my boyf said he found it hard
to digested it all at once but i was like
i digested already xD

Then we made our way home.
I would love to write more but its 3.43am
and i am darn sleepy.
So please forgive me and let me sleep :p
When i am full of energy and come to my
'seriousness' i'll write another post of something
you can learn to better urself.

Its great seeing comments at my cbox saying
they learnt alot and its informative.
Even there is daily readers and i am so touched
to see you guys love reading my blog.
*Especially when i write vain entries*
Its great i am able to help even when i have not
met you guys :)

Nights darling readers ❤

get urself some brain seriously.

So yea, hellooooooo :p

missed me? :D
This is gonna be a vain post, but its a reply
to that fucktard hater because seriously
i think he aint got no common sense.
Plus i personally know who it is and i want
to show him how much i have changed so
he would be so oh-so-jealous of my boyf for
having me and he lost me ;)

So yea, i think you all know who it is now ;)
are you guys now still surprised why
someone hates me?
i guess not :)

1st of all, to that very douchebag who tried
to make me look bad but obviously FAILED.
Hello~ speak proper english will you?
Why was it easy for me to know who it is?
Because i only know one person in my list who
speaks poor english and have no common sense
in his big head but super small brain.

And yet you wanna write there
' who want make love???just find mabel chow
can ady.. coz she so open mind.....'
Excuse me, do u know the real meaning of make love?
Its having sex with love = make love.
And i only make love with my boyf, because
i love him. Sex without love is known as
sex/ one night stand.
I am open minded, but only when it comes to talking
and not doing. We all talk about sex to have a
laugh or two. who dosent? we all do.

Plus i am not even a clubbing person.
Neither am i horny.
If i am i have a boyf, thats one reason why
we all find boyf/girlf.
So yea, i am absolutely a clean person.
I cant have sex without love.

2. When my darling Jia Lin came and defended for
me, you bloody hell dare wrote
'2 fat girl at here talk so much for wat???'
And after i read that, i am not pissed.
I laughed. Why?
There is 2 reasons.
1st, i wonder do you know the meaning
of FAT?
Let me show you instead.

This my friend is FAT.
See how many layers of meat he has?
And the super sized stomach?
And the boat even have the name S.S Fat Guy!
*Cute picture to whoever took/made it*

And now let me show you MY FATS !
Are you reaaaady? :D

omgosh? where are my fats?
I thought i had a super big stomach?
How come the bones are sticking out? :O

Eh? fats where are you?
how come i only see abs line?

ohh yeaaaa, my fats just told me they
were turned into muscles ;)
I know i may look fat, but like i said i am
big boned, no one believes.
now i have my proves.
I am 52kg, 165cm but yet you can see those
bones sticking out so well.

I do hate my big arms, but they are part
of me, i just have to learn how to love them and
tell them they have to leave me now.
But they refuse to listen so i am making it into muscles.

And the 2nd reason why i laughed.
because he wrote 'at here talk so much for wat?'
The 1st thing that came to my mind was
is he talking to me?
This is MY blog and you telling me why am i
talking here?
And i was wondering is he asking himself that
question? Thats why i said NO COMMON SENSE!

So what? After few people come and shoot you
then you stopped? so what? you think
you can come and bully a girl like me without
thinking of consequences?
But i am so sorry my dear because i've CHANGED.
I am no longer weak and unsteady.

I used to be the girl who sits and wonder
about her future .
I am NOW the girl who MAKES FUTURE HAPPENS.

I used to be the girl who looks back to the
past with regrets refusing to move forward.
I am NOW the girl who looks back and laugh at
her silliness and move forward.

I used to be the girl who only think about death
and love and slits her wrist every now and then wishing
she dies and thinks no one cares.
I am NOW the girl who learn from love
and grew stronger from her friend's death realizing
she is lucky to be alive each day and knowing
everyone cares whether they know her or not.

I used to be the girl who gives the hateful expression
on my face.
I am NOW the girl who smiles every sec for no
apparent reason at all.

Iused to be the girl who closes her eyes and hate
the world and god for making her alive.
I am NOW the girl who opens her eyes to see
every detail given infront of her and telling
and thanking god and her mother how thankful she is to
have them to bring her to life.

Iused to be the girl who is afraid to try new things.
Pain was my biggest fear but not anymore.
I am NOW the girl with tattoo on her back.
Going under needles poking her skin deep.
And still wants more.
boyf got tattoo + i got tattoo = tattoo couple = very match.
Yay :D

I used to be the girl who sleeps with tears in eyes
every night and hoping she never wakes up.
I am NOW the girl who sleeps with a smile on her
face and if there should be any tears its tears
of joy given to her by her boyf and family and
super dear friends.

I used to be the girl who sits and obey commands
and never speaks for herself.
I am NOW the girl who knows what she wants,
and speaks out confidently.

Lastly, i used to be the girl who cares what
other thinks of her and being careful
with every words she uses incase she offends someone.
But today, i am NOW the girl who doesnt gives
a eff who like/love or hates me because i
am who i am if you hate me thats your prob.
I dont have so much free time to keep changing
myself like changing clothes so that ppl will like me.

I dont need popularity nor do i wanna be famous.
Because with my character like this,
people will come without me having to try :)

So yea, last 2 words to you.
FUCK YOU
*with my universal finger to you :)*

Thankful to have all you dear dear friends
supporting me !
You guys make me pass each day knowing
that when i fall down you guys would pull
me up no matter how big, FAT and heavy i am :p

im allergic to bullshit ppl.

Wheeee~
I had new photos i wanted to show
you blog readers before but i got lazy.
Some is on my fb but some of u guy dun have
facebook so yea i have to upload it here again.

New pictures, i decided to try lipstick !
Nude pink and hot red.
*Red one was abit failed tho -_-*

Innocent pink.

devilish red ;3

Which lips would you kiss? ;D
And added with a little super
curly curl hair the outcome turned to this.

I know this looks pale abit but still,
innocent.

And this was omgosh ! when i saw this i was
like this cant be me !!!! and yea i fell in
love with it. everyone was mad shocked when
i uploaded it on fb ahaha !

Mwarks~ A little kiss for u baby :)

Yesterday i went out with my 2nd darling
Jia Lin. Thank god we met up because
i had to buy stationary for college ! :D
Went to green box karaoke.

Had fun dancing to songs !
Seriously we went nuts !
Didnt really took much pics. Was
too into singing and being stupid.

Us ❤

During singing k session, suddenly the boyf
called and said he will be on his way
to pick me up. When we hung up and i went
back in i was smiling like douche :p
because i was mad happy :D

After the session, babe wanted to go Kenny
Rogers for dinner but suddenly she
saw T-Bowl poster and said to try something new.
I didnt mind because i was just gonna have
abit and wait for my baby to have dinner together.

T-Bowl concept is mad genius but food
is just so-so.

Jia lin's dinner for the day.
Super salty.

My cheese baked scallop.
This was not bad, if only it was cheesier.

We both ordered mushroom soup each.
So-so only. But the bath tub is so cute :3

My 'Rainbow something something'
Quite sweet.

Babe's strawberry + mango + vanilla dessert.

We were feeding each other half the time haha.

Me :D
I was only wearing semi gyaru style
yesterday and poofy curly hair, omgosh!
I got more stares than before !
I decided to push the hair down ahahah xD
What happens if i did full gyaru style? ;3

My sweetheart ❤
She changed so much. Super gorgeous now :)

When babe and i were almost done, baby
reached and the 1st thing you know he
bili bala about me for buying a super ugly
pencil case or my test pads. I was like
'OMG BIIIII ENOUGH !'

And he took my i-phone and play.
Whenever i asked him to eat something he wont
i said 'bii if u love me u will eat it' and
he did~ muahahaha :D

Babe left after 5mins so yea, bii and
i went to have dinner at low yat.
A place where there is herbal soup and my
bii mad love it.

After dinner, went back home cause i had
to buy food back for my grandma then
out i go again :) back home at 11pm+.

Me and my tired face after i got home.
I had everyone wished me good luck cause
i was going to start college today but turned
out it didnt happened :(
I am so sorry >_<
its not like i want to delay studying but
yea mum wasnt happy with stamford and wanted
a change in college so i just have to keep waiting.

Me today hugging the doll.
Mad miss my boyf !
I m leaving my fringe long, no longer want bangs.
Annoying to keep swinging it away from my eyes -_-.

ohoh by the way. Look at my blog cbox
you will see 'mabel chow : fark u'.
That isnt me. Mind u to whoever did that,
i dont use FARK , i use FUCK.
Proper english :) go back to school and learn how to
spell FUCK will u? And yea, have u got no name or
do u just love my name so much that u just
have to use it?

If you are a guy, grow some balls and use
your own name plus instead of using fark u
why dont you try something more hurtful?
and since u have no life please go kill yourself.
If you are a girl and is an unwanted virgin, grow some
vagina hair and get fuck by a dog or u
can have the same option as the guys,
go kill yourself :)
If you dont wanna die then GET A LIFE !

I've seen these shits on many blog pages,
seriously if you hate me or any other ppl dont
fucking read our blog, we wont welcome ppl
like you either so you can go back to ur
emo gang, be gay with them, cry in ur
little corner and kill yourself.

I just wrote on my twitter :
everyone will have hater. be proud that u do.
they are jealous of u.
And everyone is re-tweeting it.
So you see, you are not hurting us.
You are making us real proud of ourselves.
Thank you very much :D

Oh by the way.
I said 'why dont u try something more hurtful',
but guess what?
NOTHING can hurt me.
So yea, try all you want but i am super
allergic to total BULLSHIT ppl like you :(
and sry in advance that i might have or already have hurt
you before you could do damage on me.
Think of it as a warning in advance :)

I am seriously not one person you wanna mess with.
Like all my frens said,
I am NOT predictable at all.
And when i bite, i dont give u ant bites.
I give dinosaurs bite ;p
Imma tear you apart bitches !

right or wrong?

I know i havent been updating blog as
much as i did before.
Its just that there is nothing happening
in my life except feeding monkey behind KDE
*Ohh ! when i got down the car a monkey
came behind me and pull my shirt and
hang on to it lightly for the bread i was holding xD*

And there was wild boar which was so freaking
cute ! And when i was sitting at a table there
monkeys came and sit next to me, ofcourse
for the bread but it allowed me to touch them.
Anyways, why not we talk about something
different today instead of my gay life.

Today topic : Right or Wrong ?

When we were kids at about the age we start
to learn how to walk, scream, cry, jump.
Our parents starts to teach us basic manners
like hi or bye or maybe giving goodbye flying kisses.
Usually at the age of 4, parents sends us off to kindergarten,
our 1st step of growing up.

I remember whenever i am home from school,
finished with homeworks or anything,
my mum would always sit with my brother and i,
and start teaching us the basic do's and dont's,
and ofcourse rights and wrong.

Basic stuffs like
- Dont talk to strangers
- Never steal anyone's stuffs, not even food
- Dont bully ppl
And the list goes on.

Now lets forget all these MUST do's and dont's.
Because i realized something that i doubt
hardly anyone would.

Is SMOKING right or wrong?
Obviously majority of ppl would say wrong.
I am sure you guys know that when there is
a positive, there is a negative in it as well.
NOTHING is perfect.

Back to that question, is smoking right or wrong?
Positive : It calms ppl down, and de-stress them and
make them able to think and concentrate.
Negative : It harms ppl health deeply and the
smell is really bad for non smokers.

Is watching porn right or wrong?
Positive : Satisfies ppl sexual needs, save someone
from getting rape or turning into a rapist
and ofcouse, save ur money instead of calling
a prostitute and get STDs or AIDS.
Negative : It is stereotyped as an act of desperate
horny ppl which also makes them 'cheap' and disgusting.

Is drinking alcohol right or wrong?
Positive : Alcohol is a main drink for social gatherings,
it brings ppl together. It is also said beer reduces body heat.
Negative : When one drinks too much and get drunk,
shit happens. Or maybe turn into an alcoholic.

Is clubbing right or wrong?
Positive : Fun for out-going ppl and helps
ppl forget their worries and just enjoy themselves.
Negative : Because of dressing and their acts in clubs,
whoever goes to club is stereotyped as 'cheap' and 'slut'.
Not careful you can be pick pocket anytime or
maybe, waking up next to a stranger.

Is drug right or wrong?
K lah, this is a stupid question. Its obviously wrong.
All it does is just makes ppl high and happy, sit
like an idiot all by urself and u can just
laugh for no reason and
if you cant control u turn into an addict and
the world becomes a hell hole for u.

Is sex right or wrong?
Positive : Scientifically proven that too little sex is bad
for teenage attitudes. Dont believe can read here.
*i am not saying teenage should have sex underage*
And its a stress release action.
Negative : No condom = pregnancy.

And the list goes on and on and on.
So now are you thinking to urself
'just what the heck is really right or wrong?'

I'll tell u the answer with a quote :)

There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.
- Hamlet, William Shakespeare.

Everyone's thinking and point of views are always
different. There is no point in arguing who
is right or wrong. Whatever i wrote above,
there maybe ppl who disagree to it but it doesnt
matter. I am seeing it from MY point of view.
I am not right neither am i wrong.
But its just YOUR thinking that makes it so ;)

Watch your thoughts;
they become words.

Watch your words;
they become actions.

Watch your actions;
they become habits.

Watch your habits;
they become character.

Watch your character;
it becomes your destiny.

Changing your thinking, changes ur life.
I did, thats how i became who i am.
Wiser and happier.
Friends whom i havent talked to in a
long time may say i've changed.
I didnt, i just grew up, they should try that someday.

Sit back and relax, have some time
to yourself. Think about what you really want,
who you wanna be and whats good for you.
We only got one life, best not to screw with it :)
Afterall there is no turning back to whatever
we've done each sec.

Smile and love urself today.
Yours truly , Mabel :)
ps : i love you readers too :D

i feel so loved.

My boyf and i went out yesterday

to celebrate our 1st anniversary.
Went out around at 3 or 4pm i forgot.
But i just remembered i had to follow my mum
and family out to have brunch before
going out. Instead of eating with them,
my brother, cousin and i ate at mamak.
I really prefer eating at mamak.
Cheap, yummy, and keeps you full.

My boyf came over to my house and picked
me up. I was wearing something quite
not me, its a dress and super simple.
I even had my hair tie in a half pony tail,
super bad hair day. My hair is already
flat enough but it was flatter that day.
When i got in the car the stupid boyf smiled
and said i was soooo cute.
I felt like a kid -_-.

Suddenly both of us was quiet, he was being
in his oh-so-serious-mood refusing to smile.
I poked his face, i could see him trying so hard
not to laugh but in the end he did and he blames me
for that . Bii you do that to me ALL the time !
Now you know how it feeeeeels ? >:(

Then suddenly a tears fell from his eyes.
I was likee why are you crying !!
He said he felt lucky to have mee thats why he cried.
Bii are you sure its not a tears of regret? :p
He said he cried like mad when he read my
previous blog post.
But seriously, i have never seen him cry like seriously
cry. Just a drip of one or two tears.
He can see me cry anytime because i am a huge crybaby.

On the way to his home, i showed
him where my ex live and my boyf smirked.
It was like as if he can go and kill him anytime now.

When we reached bii's home,
the dog couldnt stop pouncing on me.
I guess he smelled PMS.
Yes i happened to have my period.
And dogs get excited when they smell period.
But that didnt stop me from playing with his dog :p

My boyf calls his dog bii as well.
His dog was outside but the moment i stand at
the door he comes rushing to me.
When my boyf gave him food he didnt want
and kept standing in front of me xD
My boyf was like ' this 2 smelly bii la ' xD

We made Edamame together ! :D
It those japanese peas you can eat at Sushi
king or another jap restaurant.
I mad love it. At 1st my bii hated it but when
he saw me eating it he tried it and now
he loves it more than me.


At 1st he was the one doing it but
he had work to do so yeaaa he passed it on to me :(
Standing infront of the hot stove got me
sweating especially with a hot material
clothing. My bii was nice enuff to lend me a BIG
shirt to change.

Ta dah ! Give me an applause for cooking !
I suck big time at cooking, i always tell my
boyf he will be the one cooking not me.
He was like WAH what me !
I said cooking, laundry, cleaning, baby, etc all him.
His face expression was sooo funny xD
It was like oh-my-gosh this wife is killin me ! xD

We watched an indian movie together.
3 idiots.
Mad funny, i loved it.

I love their ass.
Its a touching film of 3 friends always
on the lookout for each other.
Gives you big laughter most of the time.

His mother came home, havent seen
her in a long time. But couldnt have dinner with
her cause she had another things to do.
So yea, went out for dinner after the movie.

Plans got screwed up, time got messed up.
I dont know why i felt the time
passed especially fast yesterday.
We decided on movie but no more tickets when
we reached wangsa walk.
Bii wanted shisha but i was like
shisha on anniversary? really?
So instead we just dropped by at a place
and ate at 11pm+
Fat sei lorrrr.

Even if things wasnt super on anniversary,
i didnt give damn.
Celebration does not necessary means luxurious
dinner or places that u can see stars, no.
It means just the two of us.
Even just eating at mamak or hawkers stalls i am
super satisfied. I am that simple :)

It was almost 12am so he send me home.
I placed my head on his shoulder and hugged
his arms while he was driving. It was a straight
road so yea, no biggie.
He kept smelling my hair.
I felt my heart pounded and i felt so warm.
I really feel so loved by this man.
Plus me being so clingy to a man like this, its really
the 1st time.

When i reached home, and he left,
i just remembered he left his wallet in my bag and
i forgot to take it out to him.
But when i called him he was home already.
He knew his wallet is with me the moment i got
out of the car but because i cant go out everyday
due to mum's order he thought he could
use it as an excuse to come collect his wallet and
me at the same time. Seriously, he failed.
It didnt work. I still wont be able to go out and
the only thing he can collect is his wallet :D

Woke up this morning sick.
Baby called and said the moment he woke
up he had this urge to come look for me.
What happens if one day even when i live with
him and he cant even stand 1sec without the sight of me? xD

1.55am, medicine taking effect again.
Arggghh !
Nights.

its finally 1 year.

Somewhere on September 2009, i ended my relationship
of 2years with someone whom i thought was everything
at 1st but turns out he is just another jerk.
And after i decided to end it with him , he begged
and begged me to return but it didnt turned out well for him.
I fell out of love long before saying break up.

After breaking up, few days later i met 'K' on facebook.
I liked him for awhile, but turns out
he was just another player who already have a gf.
I thought i was being nice not breaking them
apart but he was pretty bad himself.
Find out he wasnt really my type.

Until 4th September, you, Xiao Ser added me
on facebook. And the 1st thing you asked me was
do i play XDO and will i marry you in XDO.

It was this picture that made u said u
'fell in love at 1st sight' with me.
The next thing we know, we exchanged numbers
and u asked me to be ur gf.
I had a hard time deciding if i should say yes because
i know if i do difficulties will come into our life, and
i wanted to throw my ex completely out of my sight
incase he causes any misunderstanding.
You, xiao ser, promised that no matter how hard things will
be u will take responsibility of everything.

September 11th, u sent me a relationship request on FB
and i accepted it. I fully accepted ur love.
From that day onwards u and i became lovers.
You said u r serious on me, i too decided to become serious.
The 1st time we met, i fell even more than i expected.
Filled with surprises and i found him super adorable.
My heart beat-ed like never before.
Until my ex decided to have revenge and told my mum
bullshits about my boyf, thats when everything started
falling apart.

I didnt know what came crashing on me.
I couldnt online after i moved to my new home.
Stupid TmNet ppl refused to come over to my house.
You hardly texted me anymore.
Until one day i purposely went to KLCC Starbucks
with my laptop just to online so i could on fb.
But who knew i saw things i didnt expect to see.
A girl named 'M', spammed ur fb wall.
They were said to be in a mother-son relationship
but my heart told me it was more than that.
I smiled it off and said 'i believe him' and acted
normally.

When i finally have internet at home, i online
and i saw even more things i didnt wanna see.
Those disgusting pictures. I cried instantly.
When u asked why was i moody, i said nothing and acted happy.
You asked if it was about the pictures she took with u.
I said no, and u said dont misunderstand,
it was wrong angle that made it look like she kissed u
on the cheek. I said yea sure okay, but in my mind i was
saying 'both of you are full of shit'.

Before u met her, everyday u would text me before
u go to bed, but after u guys started
getting close from few smses per day to 1 sms or
even none per day. I asked myself,
Why am i holding to a half broken thread which
can be broken anytime either one of us pulls it?
My heart said 'you are just in love' i cried.

To get rid of those pain and tears i went jogging everyday,
but who knew i ended up hurting myself even more.
And every day from morning till night i hang on
to my phone hoping to hear a word from u but
as expected there was none.
I remembered i off my phone once hoping when i wake
up the next morning there would be a word from u
but who was i kidding? There was none. I cried again.

Pictures speaks a thousand words.
And here were those words.

People thought i was being a poser.
But seriously, i was tired of those unspoken
words, i tried to use pictures to hint u, i guess it didnt work.
But i guess those previous blog entries did.
And u started feeling guilty.

I had friends to translate those statuses
u wrote on ur fb in chinese.
It showed u had difficulties in choosing.
From that moment, i decided to give up and let u
be with her so you two could be happier.
But i just couldnt do it.
When i thought of breaking up, my heart
felt a pain that hurts more than
tearing it apart. my tears fell uncontrollably.
And i thought to myself, have u forgotten those promises
u made with me and its just me being stupid
remembering it?

I dont remember what happened, but somehow
both of u gave up on each other cause u
said u wanted me, and made promises with me.
You became all mine, and things changed again.
Usually for couples, the 1st 3mths are the happiest
but for us, it was the hardest. Even u have thought
of giving up on me. But we held on to it.
You were a playboy but i didnt expect it coming.
You said u r serious, but u were just fucking with me back then.
For ages, these memories still haunts me as i have
been hurt this bad for the 1st time.

Time passed, u left ur fucked up job and
visited my mum on 31th dec 2009.
We became official from that day onwards.
Things changed even more, and we can see each
other more often.

The 1st gift u gave me.

The reason why u came to visit my mum was
because i had to be an air stewardess.
It was my mum's command to me.
25th december, i couldnt spend xmas with u
but instead we spent it with each other thru
the phone. That was our 1st time talking on the phone
after so goddamn long !
I was the one whom made the call, i remembered i was
so nervous and it took my ages before i decided to call.
After that day, we started calling everyday.

When found out i had to leave, u told me to stand up
for myself for once to know what
i want to do in future. I did, and i am thankful for that.
I did not have to be an air stewardess anymore.

10th january, its was ur bday.
I was so afraid i couldnt spend it with it, but who
knew i could and i did. Although i didnt made it any
special but we both did. Something unforgettable.

3rd March, it was my bday. all these years
i just celebrated it with my family and nothing
more. But you made it special for me.
You made plans ahead of me, and we went out with
your mother and brother and met up with your
father for dinner in the evening.
I had an unforgettable day and i thank you deeply for that.

As time goes on, we got closer.
I was so so so afraid of you, but now
i am an idiot with u.
We say things we dont mean at all just to
make each other annoyed and laugh.
You make me laugh whenever i dont want to.
I cant stay mad at you for more than 10mins.
You always have ur ways to make me laugh and
forget why i was angry.

The 1st picture we took together.
See how we just looked like complete strangers?

The 2nd picture, i had terribly panda eyes because
i couldnt sleep the night before i met u.
I guess i was just excited to see u after
so long :)

The i dont know how many pictures of us.
We finally got this close.
Not only have i changed in looks, even
u did. With that super short haircut which
i couldnt stop laughing when i 1st saw it.
It just hit my laughing bone.

Now that you have a car, we are seeing each other
alot of times a day and whats better?
You are the 1st guy whom i went out with till
past 12am ! ahaha, usually when i m out and not
home by 10pm my mum would call and scold.
But i guess she feels she can count on u to look after me.

3rd sept, my 1st clubbing experience.
You were there going thru so much troubles and
my mum seriously counted on u to look after me.
I felt she really trusts you.
You surprised me on that night with a gift.
You are truly amazing.

Still, as hurtful as it may be.
I am THANKFUL 'M' appeared in our life.
I learnt not to trust ppl easily anymore.
Because of her, i transformed myself to be a better
person on the inside and outside.

From this fat thing.

Into this-still-fat-but-wasnt-as-fat-as-before girl.
* incase readers wanna ask stupid question,
NO i did NOT do plastic surgery thank you. *

A young 17yr old kid.

Into an 18yr old mature girl.

I am a two whole different because of you bii.
And even you went thru so much and changed
so much for me. Baby i am proud of you.
I changed because i wanted to be prettier than her
so you wouldnt leave me. In millions of other
eyes, i am better than her now. But now i dont care
who is prettier anymore because i have u all to myself.

I remembered you said you wanted me to get a
tattoo. Bii , i finally went and got it.
I wanted it long before you said you want me
to get one. I wasnt brave enough. But because
of you, i took up a new challenge and face my
biggest fear : PAIN.

I did not see any future in myself but u made me
found my path. Which is why i am going back
to college even though i effing hate assignments.

Everyone did not have faith in our relationship,
but look where we are now bii.
Everyone said we wouldnt last 1mth and there
is no possibility to getting marry with u.
Now those whom said that is saying this to me
'You are so close to marrying him'.

I have always been counting months.
But baby, today is different.
Its our 1st anniversary.
Its finally one year.
Happy 1st anniversary baby.
I broke ur record ;)

Not only have you became my boyf.
You are my best friend too.
Someone whom i care share everything
and be myself with u.
I feel i can take on anything new challenges because
i know you are behind to catch me whenever
i am about to fall.

Baby.
I LOVE YOU.
And it'll never change.
you can trust me on that.