Two teddies and my pink underwear.

Today finally got to meet bii.
Somehow i kinda like him better with glasses.
I dont know why but i kinda think
i like guys with glasses.
I find them cuter that way haha.

He said i gained weight!
I admitted i gained weight.
*Because of yesterday feast*
I dont have time to do my daily exercise.
The hardness of my abs is now soft.
So is the muscles on my arms.

But bii gained pimples!! hahaha!
Dai sei! thats what you get for being a big eater :pp
Plus he is super super duper erm, how can i say it.
Wants 'pretty-ness' more than me. =3=

I passed the cookies i made for him.
I wondered if he likes them.

And i just noticed his fingers is so ladylike.
I want it!
Mine is short and chubby hahaha.
Whenever ppl sees my fingers they laugh.
Its cute they say. I hate it.
I want bii's finger!

He passed two small bears to me~❤
His mother bought it.
One was for me, and one for him.
But he passed both to me =_=v
Pictures pictures here.
I made them pose :pp

*Huggies*

*Kissies*

Today i could stay a little longer cause
my family went back to hometown so since
i am finding my own transport home i could go home later :p

He went off with his friend to buy movie
tickets. He sent me off.
So i didnt have to get bored while they
have their conversations.

I went to find Ikki.
He patted me on my head haha.
And as usual we have our
funny-funny-non-stop-laughing-conversations :]
I cant believe how close we are getting after i broke
up with his cousin.
He is really a great friend :]

Met up with bii afterward.
Bought few breads for dinner.
I was forced to eat.
I got slight gastric after eating it cause i
didnt have a proper meal in the afternoon.

Around 7pm+
Took a cab home. Reached home.
Standing at the front gate.
Took my keys out only to find the locket
cannot be opened.
I was like LOLOL are you kidding me? inside my head.
Bii called to check if i was home.
I told him my situation, my only solution was to climb over.
Climbing over is no problem for me.
But the problem was i was wearing a skirt and pink underwear.
What if my neighbor saw?! Omgosh >_<

I looked clearly to see if anyone was there.
No one. I quickly made my move and climb over.
Piece of cake. Called bii to tell him i made it in.
He laughed =3=
Pls pls pls hope no neighbor saw my pink underwear >3<

*You complete me.
This was taken yesterday tho :]*

Meeting up with him again tomorrow :]
And on Sunday too.
Whee~
Bii bii gek sei me.
One day i am gonna vomit blood because of him =3=

thats how i got fat.

Yesterday my family along with few cousins
was supposed to go Pavilion to watch movie.
But because of my brother waking up late,
it was cancelled.
Ishhhh, i woke up early, curled my hair nicely
for no reasons.

Mum went out to meet her friend.
Leaving me, my brother and one of my cousin
at home.
When my brother finally woke up, we went out
for our brunch.
He wanted to go Wangsa Maju mamak i think.
I said McDs.
He said No =3=

But my mum called him to do some stuffs,
and it was located near Ampang Point.
So, McDs!! :D

Ampang Point, a place filled with memories.
At McDs, we saw old school mates.
Nobody recognized me anymore.
Nobody can believe how much i have changed in 2years.

Ampang point will always be Sayfolian's territory.
I remembered few weeks ago i passed by.
I saw an old school mate who used to be my
'godfather' haha.
And no he didnt recognized me.

Anyways.
At McDs i bought that double prosperity burger
for my cousin. hahahah!
He was dying. He usually can eat alot but that
burger killed him. *He asked for a single one but i
bought double :pp*
But after we finished my brother said he
wanted to eat korean food. *He didnt eat McDs*

I was like OMFG now only you mentioned it?!
I realllllly love the korean food in Ampang Point.
Super delicious.

*Super tempting but must resist.*

*Gim Bap! Kimchi! Favorite <3*

*Gim bap and sushi is different, dont mix it up.*

*Dumplings! But i prefer Taiwan dumpling x]*

And yes, i ate Gim Bap and dumpling.
Right after eating Mcds.
And few hrs later went back hometown for dinner.

I lost 1kg. Gained back. T_T
Cny makes me fat!

But i love cny only because of these
red packets :p

Cny.

Happy Belated Cny.
How was it for you guys? :]

Mine was super tiring.
Back and fourth from KL to Bentong, Pahang.
My hometown.
Its like i go there in the late afternoon.
And back around midnight.

SUPER HOT!!
Gosh. And there is no aircon in my grandpa's home.
haha.
Home cooked meal❤❤❤❤❤~
Everytime i reached my hometown,
the 1st thing i do is run to the kitchen,
and disturb my grandma.

She always get really happy when she sees me :]
I remember there was one day,
cny eve, i went back to my hometown at 7am+

My grandma said she wanted me to stay to help
her with some stuffs.
I said okay so my brother went back to KL without me.
In the end she lied =_=.
She just wanted me to be there with her.

Whenever i am there bii would call =]
And i didnt see him for 3weeks i think.
I really missed him.

Holidays are coming to an end.
Well anyways.
Hope you guys enjoyed it :]

Why cant i see the lights.

*You can see my eyes. How much i cried*

Yesterday 11th.
Was my 5th monthsary with bii.
Although i went to look for him in the early morning,
i totally forgotten about it until i left
and saw the date on my phone.

He was in t-shirt and shorts.
With his baka just-woke-up face, rubbing his eyes.
I just realized how super skinny he is.
Gosh i gonna make him + fat!
BII! +fat +fat~~~~

I only had 3hrs of sleep that day.
My mum told me to stay home and rest but i said no.
I followed her out to deal with some stuffs.

Because of lack of sleep, i felt cold on
a freaking hot day.
Bad headache.
Not a drop of water or food down my throat.
And i had flu.
My mum got worried she kept asking me to sleep
inside the car but i couldnt because
i was wearing contact lenses.

But around 5-6pm i forgot, we were on our way home.
I took off my shoes inside the car and completely
just lied down.
My mum treated me like a kid =_=
She was asking if i was hot/cold and this and that.
But i fell asleep. Thank god when i opened my eyes
my contact lenses didnt make my eyes dry >_<.

Today my mum and brother left me at home to sleep.
But i woke up at 9am after they left.
Did house chores until 11am.
And i was soooooo bored at home.
I dont know how the hell i survived
the whole day but i just did.

They came back around 8pm and
we went sg wang for dinner.
My brother needed to collect
his cny shirts from EchoPark.

Some people say my eyes can be super
scary when i dont smile. They say its like
those fierce tigress eyes. Super lcly type. =_=
But when i smile it gives off a super sweet
eyesight giving the image that
i am a super cute innocent girl.
Atleast i know when to use those proper eye contacts xD

But anyways, moments ago bii called.
He said it was a relieve to him that he
could hear me smile again after so many days.
He got so worried about me.
1hrs 30mins on the phone with him.
It was him who made me smile and laugh.

Bii biiiii.
I am so sorry to make you worry about me.
And you know you really didnt have to do
sooo much stuffs for me.
I am sorry i caused such burdens.
But yet you were here with me thru it all.

Oh~ I almost forgot.
I AM NOT LEAVING TO SINGAPORE ANYMORE!!
yay~ I am staying and will be studying :]
Although i wasted 2yrs of my life
but its time to press the 'restart' button.

And this time i am restarting my life with a special

someone who found me and i made him mine :]
Me and bii are going to be studying together~

Its 2.06am right now.
Have to wake up at 5.30 tomorrow.

Wishing everyone early Happy Cny
and Happy Valentines Day :]
Have a great one.

How long more till we see a light?
We have been in this tunnel for far too long.
The darkness just keep on engulfing.
When will the light finally shine?

Cant smile anymore.

*Trying to force a smile*

Its 2.44am and i have to wake up at 6am later.
To go all the way to Rawang to find bii.

I am so sorry i havent been able to update
blog for so many days.
Too much stuffs have been going on lately.
So i guess that past events i will not update it.
Sorry =(

I cried 3times today.
Without me knowing at all.
1 time when i woke up.
2nd time on the phone with Jason jie.
3rd time on the phone with bii.

Jason jie.
Thank you for being there for me.
I really appreciate it.
dont you worry, i will be fine. =]

Xiao Ser bii.
I really sorry i have to trouble you again.
I really didnt want this.
I know it doesnt mean a thing to you but it means
alot for me.
I promise you i will call you if anything happens.
You are always on the lookout point for me.
I feel so completely safe and secure.
I love you.
I really do.

But i can promise you that i wont do anything
that is not right.
Promise, promise and promise.
You can trust my words.

Valentines and Chinese New Year is coming.
What are your plans guys?
With your loved one? family? or both? :]

3.12am
Time to go to bed.
Be up in 3hrs times.

Few hrs sleep per day.
Sleep late at night, wake up early in the morning.
Out working hard for something.
Till late night i am only home.
I am so so so so tired.
I want to be in your arms bii.
I miss the feeling of you hugging me so much.
The feeling of 100% secure-ness.

A night without hearing your voice.

Those tears. What were the directed at?
Fear. Of what?
I may be strong and tough to everyone's eyes.
But the honest truth, a part of me is afraid.
And when i am afraid there is no one i can turn to.

I realized something.
But 1st let me ask you guys a question.
What is the meaning of TRUE friends?
Someone who is always there for you 24/7?
Someone who always cheer you up when you are down?
Or many more other reasons?

I may have friends for 14yrs.
More or less.
But could you imagine that those you spend
your whole life growing up with for 12yrs ends up
bitching about you behind your back and got
everyone hating you for no reasons just cause you are different?
Well yea, it happened to me and i tell you it sucks.
Because i always have dreams that we were still friends but
when i wake up, i just feel upset.
When i pick up my phone, i want to call them but i say to hell with it.
Who needs them.

But today, i found the meaning of true friends.
Ones that are willing to help.
Ones that are willing to jump into hell with you just to
pull you up.
I wont state the reasons why but anyways i am thankful.
You reached out for me.
Thank you, thank you and thank you.

I am not looking so forward to this Sunday.
Have to go back hometown instead of going out with bii.
Sighs. Bake new year cookies.
Sighs. There is plenty of cousins to help so why me!
Full of shit. And next Sunday which happens to be
14th, idk if i can meet bii.
Sucks.

There is still weeks away from my bday
and everyone is already asking me how am i
going to celebrate my 18th bday.
They are all thinking its gonna be a huge big bash.
Well you are wrong. That day 3rd March.
I am only going to spend it with one person :]
Even if he cant be with me on that day, i still have family.
I dont want any big big parties. I just want time with my loved ones.

Friends can always celebrate earlier or later :]
Presents , presents , presents :p
A simple bday wish is enough :]

So have you guys done your CNY shopping? :]
If you havent better start soon.
Look who is talking -_- i havent done mine yet haha.
Not planning to :]

1.46am and i am still up.
Have to wake up at 8am.
Screwed. haha.
Nights.
Might as well force myself to sleep.

Baby, I am sorry.
I didnt mean to hide things from you.
You are tired from ur work each day.
I am sure you dont need anything else to add with ur tiredness right?
I have my reasons for doing so, understand me.
I am sorry i might have said some shits to you.
I hope you are not mad.
A night without hearing ur voice.
Totally unbearable.
I love you.

I felt you responding.

Its been almost 2years since you have left.
But yet these memories,
will always remains in me that whenever i think
about it i cry.
Because that is how much you mean to me.

Thinking back when i 1st entered the academy.
I didnt have friends because i was a very quiet girl.
I preferred listening to songs while doing my
things rather than talking.

When i 1st saw you i thought to myself
'She seems bothered by something'.
But i didnt talk to you.
And time passed.

After 1week has passed, i reached the academy at 1.30pm
as usual. I am always the late one.
I saw you crying and talking to the teacher.
I accidentally overheard your problem.
He left, and yet you were crying even harder.

I couldnt bear to see you so down.
Infact i cant bear to see anyone cry, so i took my courage
to go up to you and cheer you up.
I sat next to you i said 'hey, whats wrong. I am mabel by the way'
You looked at me trying to hide those tears.
I said 'No worries just cry it out.'
And you just suddenly hugged me, and i hugged you back.
I was with you talking with your problems.
Solved it. And we became friends.

The next day, i went there in the afternoon as usual.
You were there sitting alone taking out all
the pins on the hair by yourself.
I put my things aside and helped you.
You smiled so shyly =] I said you were cute.
You praised me as a girl filled with kindness that no one
else have in this world nowadays to the whole
academy. My reputation changed drastically.
I grew famous in the academy.
But you and i remained great friends.

We laughed about the smallest things.
You eat all the weird stuffs that i didnt dare to eat.
And i laughed about your arms being long and short.
And the turtle tail on your hair.
When we went to Sg Wang 4th floor to have lunch,
i asked what you wanted to eat.
You took out a Tupperware from your pocket and said
'I made my own sandwiches'
I gave a =_= expression and laughed like an ass.
But we shared lunch together.

After few months you stopped coming to classes.
Because you had to work in your father's shop.
Whenever you come you would whine to me
how annoying those customers are.
But we laughed it off somehow.

Few weeks later.
I saw you with your lover walking by.
We smiled at each other.
I wanted to tease you the next day.
But who knew.. the next day you didnt come.
And that very night..
I received several calls.. and they said you got into a car accident.
And you left all of us.

That very moment. I dropped my phone.
Stoned. Crying. Sitting on the floor.
I thought i have went insane.
The whole night i was just sitting there and crying.
It seems so fake but yet its true.
My mum tried to cheer me up to go to bed.
Nothing worked. I just sat and sat.
Nothing was on my mind except hoping that it was just a dream.

The next day i went to the academy.
Everyone looked at me.
Without saying any words they came up to me and hugged me.
A giant group hug and i was in the middle.
Telling me to be strong.
They said 'We believe she misses you and loves you too.
We believe her last words must be telling you not to cry for her
but smile for her and how much you mean to her.
. It must be hard for you last night'
I lost control, i cried infront of everyone.
They too, cried with me.
We all lost one very precious person in our life.

Whenever i hear Jay Chow songs i think of you.
Because you love his songs like mad.
Cai Hong this song. Whenever i hear it, that pain in my heart.
Unbearable. It was the last ringtone on ur phone.
I remembered saying it was annoying.
You punched me. But now when i hear it i laugh and say 'you idiot'.

Moments ago i went to the balcony.
I closed my eyes hoping to reach out to you.
The moment i said your name, the wind blew.
Was it you responding?
Did you hear my voice?
Did you hear me telling you how much i miss you?
With those tear falling from my eyes.
As i keep trying to reach out to you the wind gradually
grew stronger. I really felt you were there.
I really did felt like as tho part of you was responding.
I looked up to the skies. I saw one bright star. I was wondering
if it was you looking straight down at me.

I know you havent left all of us completely.
You are always there for us in our heart.
I know you are.

Rest In peace.
Our memories will never be forgotten.
I miss you, I really do.

We knew that moment was the last time
fate decided to let us see each other.
You were an innocent victim.
And your life was taken away by those fucking
shit ass drivers. They were the one who deserves death not you.
I believe in karma.
From time to time when i am free, i will pray for your wellness.
I will try to reach out to you. Look after me will you?
You idiot. =(