Give me wings to fly.

Muahahaha.

No i have not gone mad. :D
Guess whattttttttt~ I was super bored
so i thought i might as well surf youtube on doing
beach hair waves.

I saw one girl who was super stunning with
beautiful tan skin and british accent :D
And the way she did the curl was super awesome.
*That cause her hair length was all the way
to her bum*
I shouldnt have cut mine :(

So i kinda did the top part too.
Thinking ahh what the hell i am just doing
it for fun.
So took me 20mins and a few burning of fingers
and my right ear *:(*
This was the outcome.

*Side viewwww*

*Back viewww*

1st attempt not bad.
I thought it would turn out like this.
*bottom picture*
But ahaha EPIC FAILED .
Maybe i should perm my hair back to this way.
OR maybe i know i'll find a way to do
this with a curling iron.

But it turned out to this big poofy one.
I mean atleast i got something
that i've tried and finally got a result :D
I should pin it up tomorrow :]
But not this way -_-
Too attention grabbing.

I was google-ing around for angel wings
tattoo design.
*Yes in cantonese saying
'sifat han' butt itchy'
Meaning wanting to get another thing.
Which you should or should not get.
Or should i say decision making?

But i came across this really beautiful one.

Havent see an angel tattoo this nice.
I wouldnt mind getting this one ;D
But too big for me :(
My mum told me to get one on my feet.
So it would look sexy with high heels.
Nah i cant tolerate such pains.

Atleast i have fats on my back to
help me xD

*Meeee :D Dont be fooled by my
innocent face ;D*

Its 12.10am and he hasnt called.
Baby! get ur ass back home from cc already! ;(
He is gonna go home late, sleep late,
wake up late and meet me late.

Sleep sleep sleep.
Wakey wakey early tomorrow.
Nights :D

When i said i love you cause u r man
doesnt mean u r muscular.
But how you would do anything to protect me
and how safe i feel in those arms of yours.
How you are willing to sacrifice and give the
very best to me. And how you would tell me that
you really truly love me everyday so i wouldt forget.

i need to get a life,

I doubt that you guys remember but i have once
posted about this 2 bear.
*Along with few hello kitty items*

I once said i wish to give the male bear
to someone. During that
time i had liked someone. But didnt
confess to him. And think that i should probably
just wait for Mr.Right to come along
so this bear can find its rightful owner.

I have totally forgotten about it until bii
confronted to me about it.
He misunderstood something but i am sure it's
clear to you now right? :]
Then there was this feeling in me that tells me
'He is my Mr.Right, i found him'

I m so glad i waited :]

*They are quite adorable arent they =]*

I felt like i've thought of alot crap to write but
i'm completely blank at the moment.

Proves how lame my life is.
Sad? haha yes i know.
Only 18 and yet my life is this sad.

I realized something.
No one dares to look directly in my eyes for more
than a min. no one.
*Even my mum says that to me*

It has been said that ppl feel i suck the soul
out of them or i can completely see thru them.

But honestly, yes i have this thing
in me that allows me to see thru a person
just from eye contact.
To those who havent met me, in pictures they
think my eyes are just big innocent eyes.

But in reality my friends says i've got cat eyes.
*yay!* ahaha. I think cat eyes are sexy ;]
Other than my family and super close friends,
no one can look in my eyes for more than
60secs.
I dont know about my bii because i dont use
those cat eyes on him.

*This was a super random picture! I look
like a goldfish. thought it might
make those who is having a bad day smile :]*

I used to hate my skin tone.
Medium tan-ish brown.
I was just born with this skin colour :]
Used to be darker. But got much more fair
within last few years.
But i guess i am loving them now :]

Because there are actually ppl who envy me
for my skin tone and photographers
wants me to be their model so they can try
different effects on me.

But speaking of photoshooting i am not so
interested, but for experience i wouldnt mind.
But semi-nude? nah uh. Dont push ur luck boys.

Dont try saying crap like 'semi-nude
or sexy shooting is suitable for you because
it can show off ur skin tone well'.

Mind you, i have a boyfriend.
And no boyfriends can accept girlfriends showing their
bodies to other guys.
Unless they dont care about their gf or i dont know.

i dont know why i am feeling so afraid
right now. That fear,
is coming back all over again isnt it?.

your balls sack are bigger than ur brain.

I feel so alone sometimes.

Today finally a Friday i thought to myself.
The only day of the week where i can
finally forget things for once and just
be myself.

Especially with the one i love.
Although movie was awesome
*When in rome*

Conversations were normal.
Laughter was there.
Until he did something that got me so
pissed that i told myself i dont want
to care anymore.
Smoking. In all my life i hate smokers.
Neither can i stand the smell of smoke.

Walked away in anger.
*to the washroom as i needed to go badly haha*
He called i didnt pick up
*was inside the toilet =_=v*
He called again, picked up, went to find him.

I swear to myself i must put on a serious face,
and not smile or laugh.
Push him away whenever he touches me.
When he said i saw u smiling
I laughed. Stop doing this to me stupid!! -_-
How am i to stay angry when you smile :(

7pm, my brother came to pick me up.
Got in the car, he speed off.
My 1st reaction 'wtf is wrong with him again?'

Obviously we argued.
Once a douchebag will always be one.
Gosh cant stand his effing attitude.
Is your FRIENDS more valuable than your FAMILY?
Can your FRIENDS give you what your FAMILY gives you?

Do they LOVE you like how ME and MUM does?
Do they UNDERSTAND you like WE do?
Think about that.

I didnt text mum about ur speeding and she
didnt called for no reason.
We did it was because we CARED!
What will happen if you get into another accident
again huh?
Just because you were never hurt in your past
accident doesnt mean you never will!

And all you could say to me was 'wtf is ur problem?'
When you said crap i didnt keep quiet for nothing.
I had a rough day, i have my PERIOD!
So therefore i find no reason needed to waste my energy.
I dont need anymore drama but you just
have to be such a drama queen. Gosh.

You fucking could have just gave me the keys
but instead you were so-called
rushing to see your oh-so-dear-friends,
you couldnt be fucked to see if ur own
blood-related sister getting into the house safely
before you left.

Grandma was taking a shower,
I had no choice but to sit outside and wait.
And also feeding the mosquitoes.

You are 20yr old already.
Just one more year and you'll finish puberty.
Grow so fucking brains already!
I am sure ur ball sacks are bigger than ur brain!

Claiming yourself wise when your 18yr old
sister is 1000times wiser than you.
Isnt that a little embarrassing? ;]

You can look down on me now but let me tell you,
when i am out there making my 1st million,
your probably only making ur 1st 100k.

And i'll say who is laughing at who now?
My-oh-so-dear-brother.

'Bye bye' he said and walked away.
I walked to him and hugged him tightly.
'How can i let u go?
We both smile a smile of such warm love.

F u c k. M e :D

Extremely down at the moment
but i will try to update my blog :]

I lost something damn important to me and him.
And he said it before that if i lose
it we will both end up going separate ways.
Well i just found out its missing today.
And i started panicking. All i could say was
'shit shit shit shit'

I started crying. And the fear of those words
coming true. I cant lose him.
I didnt wanna lie to him so i told him
the truth.
I knew an argument will start.

On the phone with him at the moment.

Today went to PC fair with my brother
and cousin.
My brother kept saying those show girls are ugly.
Just because after seeing Taiwan girls the girls
here are really umm.. nvm haha.

While i was looking for a cable for my speaker
to laptop a super meaty girl
banged me from behind -_-.
Me, from outside standing i flew straight into
the booth. i was like wtf =_=.

And while pushing my way through
those dudes holding boxes kept banging into me
and one dude banged me on my rib cage with
a box filled with speakers? i guess.
Walaoeh pain lan dou. kns.

And those flyer guys kept putting papers
infront of my face like as if they were
trying to get my attention.

*On my way there :]*

On my way home i had great laughs with my brother
and cousin. My stomach was hurting from
laughing. I like it when they 3 of us
hang out on sundays :]

Yesterday i went to TS.
After dinner with my mum i went to find ikki.
After one month he finally gave me
my birthday present! :D

*Thanks alot ikki! I just told u once i love
this bear and you remembered :D
Appreciate it much!*

Bii and i having our 1st argument?
Yea i guess so. I off my phone after he hung
up on me.
We are both annoyed by something.
Which is jealousy.

Games. Its always about games isnt it?
Its always so much more important than anything else.
Rather than how one person would feel.
ahaha. To guys it is.
Like i always say, men will always be men.

I can start to feel the darkness engulfing
us silently.
Taking away what i had thought was so perfect.
Is it so wrong to cry?

We are just not understanding each
other at this moment.
'Just what am i to you' you asked.
Then what the hell am i to you?

Baby , i'm ur guadian angel too.

If i am not mistaken this was the picture

i had on my fb when you added me right? x]
I am so glad that i was bored enough
to have taken it and uploaded it.
A picture that made you said
'This is my wife'.

Its been 7mths and this is what i've changed into.
Friends tell me i change my looks too fast.
But i think i am doing justttt fine ;]

Ahh yes, for those who didnt know i cut my fringe.
Err i did. *Again*
Kinda regretted it but not at the same time.
Tired of looking mature.
Act my age for once :]

Today i got to see my husband-to-be
after a week :]
The thoughts of being able to hold him in my
arms and me in his arms made
my heart pound insanely this morning.
Yes i've gone mad just from this feeling.

'Your my little girl' he says.
'Your my old man' says me ;D
Although he is able to show his unrestrained-self
to me but i can see in his eyes that
he is still hiding and holding back some thoughts.

Just by looking at his eyes, i can see and
feel the pain he has been when i wasnt around.
Those ache in his heart that wont leave.
Those stress to make things right.
I put myself in his shoes to view it from his point
of view. If it was me, i would have cried already.
I felt the weight of his pain.

His health isnt very good lately and i am worried.
He doesnt have the time to see
a doctor and i cant do anything which make it
worst.

When i left him he said he felt
this pain in his heart x(
Things gets worst when i am not around as
there isnt someone as noob and silly and clumsy as me
who would be so stupid enough to do
childish things to make him laugh.
Example : i banged my head twice today. The
left and right side. Accidentally ofcourse.
I'm all he have and he's all i need.

Those sacrifices and works he have to do.
Those energy he have to put into.
Mine cannot be compared to him.

He tells me things he have never tell anyone
before, he did things he would never do with anyone,
and he loves me like he never did love anyone before.

Bii, we are both having rough days and
we are just depending on each other to smile thru
the days.
No matter what the problems is i will help as much
as i can. Although i know i cant help much
but all i can do is just give u support.
To let you remember your purpose of doing something.

No matter how rough and hard things can be,
i will be with you side by side, hand in hand,
walking thru those harsh storms and thunders with you
and we'll find a rainbow not just urs or mine,
but its OURS.
*I used the word ours ;)*

Let us stay strong, and not let little things
push us down anymore.
Let us show those whom look down on us that we
can do way better than what they think of us.
Let us care, love and appreciate all those
precious important ppl to us.

Be sure to hold hands with those precious person
of yours. You might lose sight of them someday.
Some once lost can be found back. But
some once lost will forever be gone.

Do me that favor bii,
You know what it is.
You know i dont ask you for much.
Just this time i am demanding you for something
that you should be doing.
You make ur move 1st, and if i feel its necessary
i will only help.

I love you and i always will.
I've never been such a kid without anyone
except you. And i just smile
automatically just by the sight of you.

Please take care of yourself.
I am your girlfriend, just show ur
unrestrained-self to me. I dont wan you
to suffer by yourself anymore.
You have me now, things will be different.
Just cry infront of me and i'll wipe your tears,
i'll be your ears to listen to anything you have to let loose.

So baby, i just wish to see you smile.
I've never seen those eyes from you before.
Let me take away the pain from you.
I just want to see the ones i love to pass each day happily.

I'll be your guardian angel.
Staying with you 24/7.
Taking care and loving you everyday.

Xiao Ser/Nixon.
You are not alone.You never have
and you never were.
Even though everyone leave you, i'm
here to stay.
Remember that :)

I m writing things i would never write to any
guys. Or should i say i never have.
Your the first.
That shows just how much i am worried
and love you.

baby, lets get officially engage. ;D

*My days in Taiwan was like this.
Seems like the world was still spinning
except time for me has stopped.

Wheeee~
I am back from Taiwan after a week.
Miss me? :p

The last 3 previous post was written by
my hubby :]
It made me cried while i was online-ing
at taiwan office there.

It made me realized just how important
i am to him.

Not much happened there so i wont
talk much about it except
the fact that i have gained weight
by eating 5meals a day
*was forced literally*.

So i wont be eating for a week,
and will be doing heavy exercises.
Because my bii is starting to call me meaty bii.
He wants me to be 80kg which is
totally IMPOSSIBLE !!

7months with this baka already.
How did i survive with his
demanding-ness?

Today my babe called me.
She and her bf isnt working well and stuffs.
Sighs.
It hurts that i cant help much and i cant
force her to break up can i?
She said he even proposed to her.
I said proposing at this age is bullshit.

But i told her, if my bf proposed to me with
a proper ring and proper way i would say
yes but not just for the fun of saying it.
When i say yes we would be officially engaged :]

I know i said its bullshit but when a love is
so strong, you know when its official and when
its not.

I have a friend who is only a year older than me,
he is officially engaged :]
A real diamond ring ;]

And another friend talked to me saying
he and his gf isnt working out well either.

Why is everyone falling out of love lately?
Has the falling-out-of-love season started? =_=v
And everyone is asking how did i let go a 2yrs
relationship so fast.
And how did my current boyfriend and i have
not argued yet.

Well i got over my past relationship was because
i fell out of love long time ago before telling
him goodbye :D
I dont know why my current bf and i havent
argue yet. There is nothing for us to argue about.
After-all he trusts me and i trusts him.

Even when i was in Taiwan for a week,
i couldnt contact him, but i never feared that he would
do things that are not right.
Because of TRUST ;)

Although just now because of his demanding-ness
i got kinda pissed and i just hung up
on him. I felt so guilty.
When he called back we didnt talk and he
said he wants to go to bed and he hung up,
telling me to call him back if i wanted to talk.
My heart felt pain.

I didnt call him as i didnt want to disturb him sleep.
But who knew he texted me.
Saying he couldnt sleep without my voice.
I called him immediately.
Everything went back to normal because of him.

I am such a baby sometimes.
Yes i am admit i am short-tempered once
i am annoyed.
But he still loves me even tho i am that way.
He definitely deserves me at my best :]

Aiks!
its freaking 4am right now.
I have to wake up at 8.30am!
Nights nights!!

Cutting my hair tomorrow.
Goodbye my long hair. :(
Inspired by taiwan fashions. that is why i am
changing. look like my age for once.

Baby, i love you.
I love you now, i will love you later
and i will love you forever :]

Day 2 Without you

"bii morning.."

the first voice to save me from nightmare

(formula: reality sweet> dreams dreams=nightmare)

the words I need to hear to always get me through the day

same greetings same voice same ..

..except you are not on the other side

*1*060606 *1*060606 *1*060606

bubbletalk you leave before you leave

you tell me you will let me know whenever you reach

received the message 2:22am !@#$%

LAST night HELL-o

Thanks to MCSS

and i check and wait and ..T^T like f.o.c water supply

Thanks to 12% Bavaria

and i drunk and dead and ..T^T like no air supply

fine someone will pay for the bill later

(formula: live pain>death alcohol/nicotine=God)

and i stun and stone and ..T^T like electricity shortage

when you're gone

the pieces of my heart are missing you

i've never felt this way before

everything that I do reminds me of you

apps apps apps apps apps apps

until miracles happens

on and off.. in 8 minutes !@#$%

无言...

Bavaria Holland beer

Advertising slogan: And now, for a Bavaria.

生命

　

何時開始

　

確信不疑

　

偶遇你時

　

凝望你一雙眼開始

Richard Marx - Right Here Waiting

Oceans apart day after day
And I slowly go insane
I hear your voice on the line
But it doesn't stop the pain
If I see you next to never
How can we say forever

Wherever you go
Whatever you do
I will be right here waiting for you
Whatever it takes
Or how my heart breaks
I will be right here waiting for you

I took for granted, all the times
That I thought would last somehow
I hear the laughter, I taste the tears
But I can't get near you now
Oh, can't you see it baby
You've got me goin' crazy

Wherever you go
Whatever you do
I will be right here waiting for you
Whatever it takes
Or how my heart breaks
I will be right here waiting for you

I wonder how we can survive
This romance
But in the end if I'm with you
I'll take the chance

Oh can't you see it baby
You've got me goin' crazy

Wherever you go
Whatever you do
I will be right here waiting for you
Whatever it takes
Or how my heart breaks
I will be right here waiting for you
Waiting for you

失去你的同时

我也失去了自己

Day 1 Without You

clocks on the wall tells me that you have reached there

are you missing me like i do? i don't know =(

i can hear wolf cries echo from the other corner (stray dogs na..)

even they cant wait till twelve to howl..

walk out of my life and called you on the phone chronically like yesterday

only one shinning gem appeared over the black piece of velvet

reminds me that you are not with me today.. tomorrow and tomorrow..

at least we are still under the same sky T^T

*sigh*

i have never written so much since the last blue moon..

but i want someone to remember how she have made my day.. today

turn my diary to the page where traces of tears dropped this morning

trails started to flow again from my eyes..

"rain rain go away ..come again another day" "STOP cryin' stupid!"

wish there's a Sycamore maple leaf to bookmark this page.

XS is DEAD > April sixth

"night night.." i tell myself

"no no.." your voice breeze pass my ear

i can see you shaking your head thru the colour of the wind

the scent of your hair too.. T^T

thank you bii.. i know this is a message from you..

i know you know i can't sleep without you by my side

GOODNIGHT my dear .. i heart eu mo than eu heart me>

six days to go

hate it when my baby is not around to take care of my apps! =(

QUIT!!!

10:10 still haven't receive any call from you ..

你 狠下心 真的 走了

我 怎么 也 留不住

只流下了眼泪

和 一口袋 满满的 回忆碎片

我爱你 真的很爱很爱你

可是 没有机会 亲口 对你 说了

taiwan here i come! bii i m gonna miss sei you!!

OMG!
I am leaving to Taiwan tomorrow!
If you guys are thinking
'Aiyor, she's so lucky can go taiwan'
Well kinda true but noooooo.
1st of all i am not really going there for a vacation.
2nd of all how am i to watch out for my bii?

Packed my things. Hope i left nothing.
Oh wait i did.
Mummy can i pack my bf into my luggage too? :(

Bath my 2 stupid dogs today.
Omg i am gonna cry without them :(
*hugs them tightly*

*Lui Lui peeking inside the toilet,
i was bathing kaka at that time*

Cute dou sei x3

Taiwan taiwan.
My brother and my 2nd home :]
Hopefully within those 6days i can find
my true self back.
But i know when i am back again, troubles
will find me again.
And my emo self will come back.

Every time i hear the word
C o l l e g e
i get frustrated.
ARGHHHH! hate hate hate!!

I keep hearing negative shyyyttts from ppl.
'Noooo you cant do it.'
Well pak you and i will prove it to you.

Departing at 3pm+ tomorrow.
Reaching there at around 8pm+.

Once we reach there my brother's plan
is to go 7-11 and buy
Pokari sweat and QQcute noodles.
Then eat eat at hotel.
nyahahaha~

Bii !
when i am not around you better not
go astray ;(
I will miss you like mad.
from time to time i will read messages you
sent to me on my phone.
Knowing that distance may separate us for
awhile but i m still with you in ur heart :]

I cried on the phone thinking you
might cry but noooo you didnt.
cold blooded snake!!

But i still love you.

This might be my last update,
or maybe not
*for a week lahh*

But i know next post will definitely be
updated by my baby. ;]

Hello Taiwan, Goodbye KL ;]

I swear, when i get off the plane
when i am back i will definitely text you
even if i cant call you!
And when i am home i will fly to my room,
call you and say
'Bii i missed you!!' and jump in joy to hear
ur voice again. And i might or might not shed
a tears from missing you too much x]